Media Free Mondays - Day 1

As many of you know, I write a column for a regional parenting magazine, Coulee Parenting Connection.  Last week my editor and I were discussing possible topics for future articles, and I wound up volunteering my family for an experiment which should provide great material for my next editorial.

I had just finished reading a blog by someone who had instituted "Media Free Mondays" in their home, in an attempt to reconnect as a family.  They shut off all electronics - television, computers, cell phones, and Ipods - and substituted reading, board games, and talk.  In a moment of inspiration, combined with complete insanity brought on by sleep deprivation, I proposed to do the same with my family and then write about it.

My editor loved the idea.  My family?  Not so much.  They are good sports though, and lucky for me, they love me enough to try it.  Well, that, and I didn't exactly give them a choice.

In order to fully appreciate how difficult this might be for us, you have to understand how "wired" we all are.  We each have our own computer, cell phone, and music player.  The girls do not have TVs in their rooms, but there are still three sets in the house.  Our evenings are typically spent watching one of our favorite shows from the DVR, and it's likely that at least one of us will also be online or texting at the same time.  We do still talk to each other as well - we're not completely dysfunctional, or at least I hope not, but this weekly investigation may prove otherwise.  After all, we do tend to text one another from other rooms in the house...

On that note, I thought it would be funny to announce this brilliant plan to my family via Facebook.  Come on, you have to appreciate the irony!  And funny it was...here was the response:  

• Kelsey:  Can't you just pretend I don't live with you for this? Lol. Honestly I don't think it's gonna make much of a difference for me because I'll still either be at work or doing school on the computer.  (Note:  Exceptions are allowed for emergency or work-related phone calls or computer use for school.)
• Emma:  ~shoots you~ xD yeah this is the worst idea you have ever had. at least, right now, is a bad time, cause FF5 is supposed to be telling us new stuff, so ya. HORRIBLE TIME.
• Dan:  I am in. No texting, facebook, twitter, tv. That will be hard for all of us.
• Emma:  I am NOT in.  

It's easier for my husband and I to see how this could be a good thing.  Yesterday, in the midst of great eye-rolling coming from the 13-year-old, we reminisced about growing up with a rotary phone with a cord and a record player.  "Wow, Mom, you really are old."  Thanks, honey.

We tried to remember what we used to fill our time with back in those prehistoric times, and we'll try to implement some of those ideas into the vast hours of media darkness tonight.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Uh, tomorrow, that is...      

The difference of a day

Twenty-four hours ago, friends welcomed their third child into the world.  Other friends were preparing to say goodbye to their wife and mother who is stricken with an incurable brain tumor.

Twenty-four hours ago, someone I know adopted a new pet.  Another dear friend was told her pet has only a few months to live.

Twenty-four hours ago, only a handful of people knew the top 24 contestants on American Idol.  By tomorrow, we will likely know more than we should about the top 24.

Twenty-four hours ago, people in Wisconsin were in turmoil over the governor's proposal to eliminate bargaining rights by unions.  (All right, so not EVERYTHING has changed yet!)

What a difference a day makes.  Things that we considered all-consuming and crucial can become trivial in the light of a new day.  Issues that divide and polarize us suddenly melt away in the face of either happy or sad news.

Jesus said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?" (Luke 12:25-26)

I find it humorous that Jesus referred to adding an hour to our lives as a "little thing."  I think most people would consider that a major accomplishment, but then again, Jesus is not like most people.  And that's really the point here.  When we put God into the equation, anything can happen in a day.   He's always at work, even if it takes more than 24 hours to see the result.

A rant about dogs and leashes

I don't often go on a rant on this blog, but I'm about to right now.  That's what will happen when your 21-pound beagle takes on a full grown St. Bernard in defense of your other beagle.

Once a week, I drop off my daughter at her piano teacher's house, and I have a half-hour to kill.  If the weather is agreeable, I bring the dogs along, and we walk at a nearby park.  This particular park also happens to house a dog park within it.  We don't usually use the dog park (for a number of reasons I won't get into here); we walk on the trails.  My dogs are always on leash.

Today, we had just begun to walk when I heard a woman yelling.  I turned around to see an enormous animal bounding towards us.  I almost thought it was a bear at first!  In a few seconds, I saw it was a St. Bernard with a leash trailing behind it.  The owner, a woman, seemed in no hurry to catch up to him.  I yelled, "Is he friendly?"  She did not respond.  I am not sure if I froze out of fear or because I thought it might be best to stay calm, but either way, I didn't move.  I didn't even have the presence of mind to grab my pepper spray out of my coat pocket.

It turned out the dog was friendly, as he and my smaller beagle, Hunter, checked each other out.  My other dog, Molly, was cowering.  This is where you need to know some history.  Molly has been attacked, unprovoked, three times while we have walked in our neighborhood.  There have been countless other encounters with friendlier dogs off leash, but she is now very fearful when she sees a dog off leash approaching us.  Especially a 180-pound dog.

The St. Bernard decided to check Molly out.  I don't know if Hunter could sense Molly's trepidation or if he felt threatened in some way, but he nipped at the St. Bernard and let him know it wasn't ok for him to bother Molly.  Fortunately for us, the St. Bernard backed off.  I hate to think what would have happened otherwise.

The woman apologized for her dog but still made no attempt to grab his leash, and he would not stop running over to us.  I finally had to ask her to take him away because I was afraid of what my dog might do.  A few minutes later, we encountered another dog (on leash), and I heard the owner chastise the woman loudly for not having her dog on leash.

Here's the thing - I understand dogs like to run free.  I'm a dog owner; I get it.  I also understand some dogs can do so and be under complete control of their owner.  I even understand that, if they are not under control, an owner knows their dog is friendly and won't cause harm to another dog.  Or at least, they THINK they know.  Dogs live in the moment, and ANY dog, if feeling threatened, could attack.

But here's the other thing - most cities have leash laws.  There's a reason for that.  It is for your dog's protection!  If your normally amiable dog is wandering around and encounters a dog who is not so amiable, your dog could get hurt.

If your dog needs to run free, there are appropriate and safe places to do that.  A fenced-in backyard, the dog park, a dog run, or doggie daycare are all solutions, if you choose not to live in the country.

If you choose to disobey the law and not leash your dog, know that there are citizens out there, like myself, who will report you.  As I said before, I also carry pepper spray, which the police recommended I do (which tells you something about how often these attacks happen).  It is completely legal to use on another animal, and it has no long-lasting ill effects.  But do you really want your dog to get pepper sprayed?

I believe most people simply do not understand the dangers of having their dog off leash, nor do they understand how stressful it can be for other dogs that meet them.  I hope to be able to illuminate this issue so more people will comply with the law and keep our neighborhoods and parks safe for all.  

Help is on the way!

“But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”  Psalm 71:14

“I never thought this would happen to me.”

“I just don't know what to do anymore."

"I'm not even sure God is listening to me."

“That’s it, I give up.  It’s hopeless!”

I have several friends going through some very tough stuff in their lives right now...major health issues, custody battles, rebellious children, legal issues, and rocky marriages to name a few.  I've heard all of the above statements and more.

Chances are, you've made these statements during rough patches in your life.  I know I have.  Maybe you're there right now, in the pit of despair.

God’s Word offers some tremendous encouragement.  In Mark 5, a synagogue ruler named Jairus came to see Jesus.  Jairus pleaded with Jesus to just come and put his hands on his daughter, who was dying.   He said he knew she would be healed if Jesus would do that.  Jesus agreed and they headed off to Jairus’ house.

Let me pause the story right there.  Maybe you have done just as Jairus did.  You have fallen at Jesus’ feet and begged him for a healing of your problem.  Perhaps your faith was even strong enough to say, “I know this situation will be restored with just one touch from you, Lord!”

Let’s rejoin the story now.  You see, there was a journey that Jesus and Jairus had to take.  They had to walk together from the lakeside to Jairus’ house.  The Bible doesn’t say how long this trek was, but on the way Jesus was continually surrounded by people who wanted and needed Him.  One woman simply touched Him in faith and was miraculously healed.   Jesus stopped to talk to her.  I wonder how Jairus felt at this point.  I imagine he was freaking out, as every minute mattered in getting Jesus to his daughter.  I imagine him thinking, "Get out of our way!  This crowd is annoying!  And why does Jesus have to actually stop and TALK to them?  UGH!"

Pause.  Is this where you are?  Are you on the journey with Jesus?  Are you getting frustrated that everyone else seems to be getting answers to their prayers, and you feel like He just hasn’t gotten around to taking care of you yet?   Let’s read on.

While Jesus is still speaking to the woman who was healed, bad news arrives.  Jairus’ daughter was dead.  Jairus was told there was no need to bother Jesus any more.

Pause.  Maybe this is you.  You believe all hope is lost.  There’s no point in even talking to Jesus about it anymore.

The Scripture says Jesus ignored the news of the girl’s death.  He looked Jairus in the eye and said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”  They arrived at Jairus’ house, Jesus said two words to the girl, and she was restored to health.  Hmmmm, imagine that, Jesus arrived at just the right moment.  Not too early, not too late.

No matter where you are on the journey with Jesus, He says the same thing to you today.  Don’t be afraid, just believe.  With Jesus, there is always hope.

Hang on...help is on the way!

I'll be your cheerleader

Four years ago today, heaven received a new citizen.  He was always meant to be there, but it took over 80 years for him to arrive.  His given name was Gerald, but to almost everyone, he was known as Jerry (or Jer, or even Big Jer (BJ), as his family lovingly referred to him).

Jerry was a passionate follower of Jesus for most of his years.  In his earlier years, he was earnest but legalistic.  He didn't know any better; he didn't have anyone to show him the way.  He aimed to become a mentor for others, and he was successful in doing so.  In all his years on this earth, I can't even guess how many souls he led to know Christ.  I just know it was a lot.

I had a roller coaster relationship with my dad.  As a young child, I was terrified of him.  As I grew older, he tried to mold me into an athlete, something God clearly never gifted me to do.  I was a musician and artist, and Dad eventually accepted that.  He never missed a concert or performance.  He became one of my biggest cheerleaders.

When I wanted to quit college and go work for him in the radio station he bought, he never tried to talk me out of it.  He just supported me and loved me.  When I wanted to quit that and marry a co-worker who would give me stability, he didn't argue.  He just walked me down the aisle.  When our second child died at birth, he gave the most beautiful sermon at the funeral that I've ever heard in my entire life.

A few months later, my father, the person I held in the highest esteem, broke my heart by leaving my mother (after 41 years of marriage) for another woman.  I know now that he was under heavy attack from the enemy, and like all of us at times, he crumbled.  In later years, he had severe regrets about the collateral damage to his family.

It took a long time for me to work through my anger and bitterness, but eventually I chose to forgive him and pursued a relationship with him.  It was never the same, to be sure, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to try to reconstruct.  Often our conversations were stilted or awkward, but in each one of them, he did his best to encourage me.  If there's one thing I know for certain, I know my father loved me.  He made sure I knew.

In July of 2006, he was diagnosed with cancer.  Six month later, he left this earth to be with his Lord.

I miss him terribly, but as my husband often reminds me, he wouldn't want to be back here for anything. I wouldn't even wish that on him.  I know he is where he was always meant to be.  He is where I am meant to be one day.  On days like this, I long to be there.  In the meantime, I want to carry on his legacy and be that cheerleader for others.

And so, in the words of my father...keep your chin up.  Keep smiling, it's OK.  I love you.

Beet recipes

I haven't posted recipes in awhile...probably because I didn't have anything of note to post.  My poor family members are the guinea pigs of many a recipe at our house.  Some good, some not-so-good.  They are always honest.  :)

For the past couple of years, we've participated in a CSA (community supported agriculture) program through a local organic farm, Harmony Valley Farms (Harmony Valley Farm).  We get the most wonderful assortment of vegetables throughout the year, and it's caused us to try (and many times even enjoy) new, healthy tastes.

In January, we get two boxes of winter veggies.  Lots and LOTS of winter veggies!  Each year, it's a challenge to figure out what to do with these wonderful, nutritious foods before they go bad.  This year, I've found myself looking for ideas of what to do with carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, celeriac, and beets.  I decided to take one day to concentrate on each of these wonderful vegetables, and today's veggie of choice was beets.

I LOVE beets.  I can eat them cooked, plain, and truly enjoy them.  No one else in my house is a fan.  Since I had such a plethora of them, I decided to use a few to try some new recipes, in the hopes the rest of the family would get onboard.

I'm a huge hummus fan.  A friend of ours makes delicious homemade hummus and regularly blesses me with it.  I found a recipe for beet hummus and decided to give it a try.  It is actually quite tasty!  Now, I'll admit, given a choice, I'd take the traditional garbanzo bean version.  But the beet version is extremely beautiful (due to the bright, purple color) as well as tasty.  Here's the link to the recipe I followed:  Beet Hummus

Pickled beets - my grandmother used to make these (as well as pickled eggs, which may well be my next experiment, since I am now craving them!).  I do not know anything about canning, so I chose a recipe that is simply refrigerated.  It is delicious and tastes almost identical to what I remember from childhood.  The recipe is here:  Pickled Beets

I also made a beef stew with turnips in the slow cooker tonight, which the whole family enjoyed.  Even my very picky daughter!  Let me know if you want that recipe.

Happy cooking (with beets)!

Morning people

"If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse." - Proverbs 27:14


To say that I'm not a morning person is probably an understatement.  When I roll out of bed, after giving my alarm clock a glare that could burn holes through the floor, I can barely function, let alone comprehend anything.

Because God likes a good sitcom as well as anyone, He made my darling husband a morning person.  Not only does he simply wake up at (what I consider) ungodly hours, he does so with energy and joy.  Because he gets up so much earlier than I do, by the time I stumble down the stairs he has already been up for awhile.  And since he's also an extrovert, the person he first sees in the morning is his opportunity to connect and energize.  I'm pretty sure he's just been sitting there thinking of what he will say, because as soon as I appear, I am hit with a verbal bombardment.  He knows I hate this, but I swear, it's as if he cannot help himself.  I think he will burst if he can't talk to someone right at that moment!

I know, it sounds funny, right?  He finds it humorous also, because HE is in a good mood!  It's actually not funny to me, though.  It causes me to have some rather unkind thoughts, and it is only by God's grace that it doesn't go beyond that.  And some days, I'm not all that open to God's grace, so you see where I'm going.

We can laugh and joke about it, but the truth is, it's a sin struggle.  So I need to deal with it.  It would be easy to put all the burden and blame on my husband, but the truth is, it's MY sin struggle.  It may be a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but the big things all start out as small things.  So I'm praying for victory over this and asking God to change me.

I realize God is not going to change the way I'm wired; He made me that way for a reason.  And He made my husband the way he is for a reason too.  But He can renew my mind to change the way I respond (Romans 12:2).  He can give me wisdom and strength to do what He is calling me to do (Colossians 1:9-11).

1 John 5:14-15 says, " This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."  I know it is God's will for us to love one another, and this issue is getting in the way of that, so I am confident God will answer this prayer.

And like He so often does, God will answer in a way that would have never crossed my puny little brain.  Now that's something worth getting up in the morning for!

 

Trusting God more than Chuck Norris

"Who is this coming from Edom, 
   from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? 
Who is this, robed in splendor, 
   striding forward in the greatness of his strength?
   'It is I, proclaiming victory, 
   mighty to save.'"
Isaiah 63:1


I have trust issues with God.  He knows this about me (and loves me anyway).

I was watching an episode of "Frasier" the other day, in which Frasier and Niles see a couples therapist to resolve their differences.  The therapist declared their problem to be a lack of trust, so he tried to get them to participate in something known as "the trust fall."  You may have seen this before - where one person stands behind the other, and the person in front relaxes their body and falls back into the arms of the other.  The point is to trust the person behind you to catch you.

I got to thinking...if I were to do a trust fall with God, would I believe He would catch me?  I mean, logically, we're talking about the only Being who is truly and completely trustworthy.  So why would I even hesitate?  Why DO I hesitate?

Just this past week, God asked me to do something.  It seemed simple enough on the surface, but as the week progressed, some unexpected aspects came up which made the task seem insurmountable.  I basically lost a whole night's sleep worrying about it.  In the end, God removed all the difficulty, and the task was completed with ease.  All that worry for nothing, just because I couldn't trust.  And this is only the 397th time He's come through.  This week.  :)

A few months ago, I added a new instrument to my spiritual toolbox when someone suggested I start praying for revelation.  I had never done this before, and frankly, it has sparked a spiritual awakening for me.  (I have yet to be denied an answer to this prayer.  Try it!)  So, I asked God to reveal something to me about my trust issues.

I've discovered I have a very limited view of God.  To a certain degree, that is just the way it will be while we are on this earth.  And even in Paradise, I believe it will take all eternity to truly know God. For now, I am finding I not only restrict God's capabilities in my mind, but I tend to place human limitations on Him as well.  I forget that, unlike people, He is always good.  I forget that, unlike me, He has "the big picture."  I forget that He is supernatural and all-powerful, unlike any human on the planet (yes, even Chuck Norris).  God is NOT ME.  He will not screw up, and He will never betray me.

Jesus, though fully God, is also fully human.  That is why He is able to sympathize with us and intercede on our behalf.  But He is not subject to our limitations.   He is, as Isaiah said, mighty to save.  

Lamentations 3:24-26 says, "I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."  This will be my prayer for the new year - to learn to wait quietly.  To draw my strength from the knowledge of who God is.  To stop tossing and turning and striving.

Will I always get it right?  Not likely.  But I'm ready to give that trust fall a chance.  Here I come, Lord...catch me!

Starless

Every night, before I go to bed, I let my dog outside.  I always walk out with her at night, unsure of what dangers may be lurking out there.  It's also my opportunity to connect with my Creator before bedtime as I search for glimmers of the heavens.  

(Those who know me well are probably expecting me to burst into song right here...a Switchfoot song, that is.  "When I look at the stars, I see someone else...")

Actually, I do look at the stars.  Every single night, I look up.  Something about seeing those natural sources of light give hope and direction.  Tonight, at least initially, I saw nothing.  As my eyes adjusted and I looked straight up, above shone one bright star.  "Ahhhhh," I thought, "at least there is one star out tonight."  As I focused on that single star, others began to appear in my peripheral vision.  The harder I looked, the more I saw.  Some were quite faint, but others were remarkably discernible.

Isn't that just like life?  So often, in times in darkness, we cannot see even the tiniest shred of hope.  We search and search, but see nothing.  But if we are persistent and patient, eventually God shows us a light, sometimes even a bright light.  As we begin to focus on the gift of that light, we begin to see things more clearly, and further hope comes into view.  More light.  More direction.  More hope.

I know some of you who read this blog are going through some dark times right now.  My prayer for you is to look for that one star that is shining just for you.  Get out there and look.  It's there.  I promise.

Church ladies

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.  For if they fall, one will lift up the other."  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NRSV)

I grew up in a Christian home and attended a small, conservative church.  My perception of "church ladies" was that they each had a signature dish to bring to each potluck, during which they sat around and gossiped.  If they were chatting mindlessly at church, they were getting together for coffee to do more of the same.  I heard lots of complaining about husbands when my mother hosted the weekly "coffee klatch" at our house.

When I became a married woman, at the ripe old age of 20, I got a somewhat different picture of church ladies.  I began to understand the enormous pressures of being a wife and mother, and for awhile, I bought into the idea that we were merely supporting and encouraging one another.  Still, in the back of my mind, I was nagged by the thought that this was not at all the way it was supposed to work.  In addition to the constant gossip, often glossed over by being shared as prayer requests, I was turned off by women I viewed as weak, moody, and pathetic.  Growing up in the age of feminism, I felt empowered and strong.  Why did these women think they even NEEDED a man?

It became more and more difficult for me to connect with women in general, but even more so, the church ladies.  I suspected if my world ever came crumbling down, they would not be there for me.  My fears were confirmed when my marriage ended.  I became the one who was gossiped about and judged.

To this day, I still struggle with a general dislike of women.  There.  I said it.  I abhor women's events at church, and after this post publishes, I probably won't be invited to them anymore!  It's not for lack of trying...I have tried attending in an effort to get past my issues of distrust.  I'm actually really blessed to be in a church where the women are not like the ones who burned me in the past.  Still, I would rather walk on broken glass in bare feet than attend the next women's brunch.  It's just excruciatingly painful for me.

All of this to say, I discovered this morning that God has placed me smack in the middle of women's ministry, something I would have never imagined in a million years.  Mercifully, it looks different from the view to my past.  It does not involve potlucks or craft fairs.  It's as simple and beautiful as picking up my phone or my reading my email.

This dawned on me this morning as I read two Facebook messages which arrived right in a row.  Both were from younger women seeking advice and encouragement from a more seasoned believer (notice, I did not say old!).  My heart was so moved that they trust me enough to share their deepest confidences with me, and I realized that God had ordained our friendship for a dual purpose.  Not only for them to have a trusted mentor, but for me to heal from the hurts of my past.

As I pondered this further, I began to realize there are at least a dozen other women in my life who God has given me to encourage.  I was further enlightened by how much each one of these women ministers to me.  Now this is women's ministry I can get excited about!

So I'm thankful for the "church ladies" in my life right now.  Who knows, maybe one day you'll see me at the women's brunch again.

It's all about the baby

This morning, as I watched a beautiful snowfall and talked to Jesus, I sensed a need to pray for those who will be celebrating Christmas without a loved one, especially those who are going through their first Christmas without that special person.

The snow prevented my daughter from making the trip to her dad's, as planned.  That means, I will have all my children home for Christmas Eve.  Well, not quite all; there is always one child missing.   This will be the 22nd year without my oldest daughter, Alyssa.

Alyssa never grew beyond a baby.  Just like Jesus, she came into the world a helpless babe.  She was born in a sterile environment rather than a filthy manger, but she had the same destination as her Savior.  They are celebrating Christmas in the heavens, together.  

I still remember that first Christmas without her.  It was all about the baby, just not the right one.  My arms ached.  I wanted to scoop baby Jesus out of every manger scene I saw and hold Him.  It took several Christmases before I realized that was exactly what I needed to do.  We often talk about Jesus holding us in His arms, but in my case, I needed to hold Him.  To hold my Savior, Emmanuel, my Prince of Peace, in my arms and express my love and joy for Him.

Even if you've never known a loss like that, I pray you will scoop baby Jesus into your arms and love Him this Christmas.  After all, it's all about The Baby.

Popcorn memories

Recently, and for no good reason whatsoever, I found myself doing that thing that "older" people tend to do: reminiscing.  And it all started over a bowl of popcorn.

"Do you know, when I was a kid, my mother used to make popcorn on the stove?  In fact, she even had a 'popcorn pan'."  (The camera pans to the blank stare on my daughter's face.)  "Yeah, Mom, that's...interesting," she says.  I went on to give her an entire history of the evolution of making popcorn.  She was fascinated and hung on my every word.  Not.  :)

To this day, eating popcorn conjures up memories of high school basketball games and Disney's Sunday night movie.  Isn't it funny how a food, or a smell, or a song can transport you back in time?  I wonder what things will take my kids back to the "good 'ole days" when they are older.

What little things spark memories of your childhood?

Reconciling tragedy with praise

I know a woman who has endured some tragic circumstances in her life.

For the most part, her childhood was ideal.  She grew up in a small town with married parents, three brothers and a sister.  They didn't have a lot of money, but they always had enough.  They went to church every Sunday, and God was very central in their family life.

At the age of 17, she survived a tornado while lying in a ditch at an amusement park.  The twister went right over the park, causing a lot of damage in its path.  This was not her first encounter with tornadoes, but she had never been outside in the middle of one.  It was the first traumatic experience of her life.

She married at the age of 20 and had her first child just shy of her 22nd birthday.  Three years later, her second child died at birth of unknown causes.  Her first child was nearly attacked by a mental patient while recovering in the hospital from dehydration, and her third child nearly died from pneumonia.  Her husband was diagnosed with epilepsy and suffered serious injuries after seizures brought on by being prescribed the wrong medication.  All these medical issues led them into thousands of dollars in debt.

Seven months after losing her baby, her father (who was a pastor) announced he had been having an affair and left her mother after 41 years of marriage.  She did all she could to help her mother through the shock and devastation, but her once-close family was never the same.

All of the stress took its toll on her marriage, and she divorced at the age of 28.  She worked full-time and struggled to make ends meet for herself and her two children.  Although she believed in God, she walked away from the church for a long time, feeling scorned by fellow believers because of her divorce.

Eventually, an old friendship turned into a flame, and she remarried.  She had to move her children hundreds of miles away from their father, and the difficulty of visitation issues ensued.  Blended families on both sides of the situation presented new challenges as well.  Fortunately, she drew near to God and became part of a church family once again.  Her faith became strong as she grew in knowledge and wisdom of the Lord.

A few years ago, her husband lost his job.  During his time of unemployment, the woman's father was diagnosed with cancer and died six months later.  She had forgiven her father and made peace with him, but that only deepened her loss.  Over the next six months, her husband remained jobless, and she lost four additional family members who were close to her.  Then, her beloved dog, just four years old, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died a month later.  It was a dark time for her spiritually and emotionally, and her faith was rocked to the core.

Not long after, her father-in-law began to fail in health.  His life hung in the balance for many months.  Many times, prayers were lifted and he recovered, but eventually God called him home.  She felt as though she had lost another father.

I'm sure you've read accounts of other people's lives that were much more dramatic or tragic, but this one has special meaning for me because...well...the woman I wrote about IS me.

I'm sometimes shocked to look back on my life and realize all that I have endured.  This time of year, we talk a lot about giving thanks.  And it's true, I have a lot to be thankful for - far more than I could ever list in a blog post.  Praise is the sister of thanksgiving, and that's where my heart is today.

When I was in the midst of a season of great loss, I meditated on Psalm 42 almost every day:
I say to God my Rock,
   “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
   oppressed by the enemy?”
My bones suffer mortal agony
   as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
   “Where is your God?”
Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

I would read these words, emphasizing the word "will" as a choice to believe in God's faithfulness to me.  It was a mental choice I had to make because everything within me felt to the contrary.  I felt abandoned by God.  Yet, the truth was I would not always feel that way, and I HAD to believe it, no matter how hard.

It's been a few years since that season.  This summer, I found myself reflecting on all of this.  I discovered I could see God's hand in so much of the pain I endured, but there were still some wounds that had not healed.  I could see no purpose in them - nothing that made sense.

Then I heard a pastor speak about the Wedding Feast of the Lamb and how it relates to events in our lives that seem senseless.  He reminded me of the new perspective I will have once in heaven: God's perspective.  He quoted Revelation 15:3, where we (the saints) will sing, "Great and marvelous are your deeds, Lord God Almighty.  Just and true are your ways."  The pastor said, "You're going to say it then, you might as well say it now!  Just and true are your ways, God!"  In other words, praise.  Choosing to praise what is true.

For some of the difficulty in my life, I'm already able to praise with all my being and feel truly thankful for enduring it.  For the rest of it, I say, "I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."

I am a social dork

It's official.  I should not be allowed to talk to famous people.  If you are my friend, please don't ever become famous because I won't be able to talk to you.

I don't know why, but anytime I meet someone of notoriety, especially someone I admire, I become a bashful, tongue-tied mess.  If I know in advance I'm going to meet them, I plan elaborate speeches or witty remarks, which never escape my lips.  I will inevitably say something lame like, "It's nice to meet you" or "I love your music."

Such was the case last night.  My daughter Kelsey and I drove three hours one way to hear one of my favorite authors speak.  Donald Miller's books have inspired and challenged me, and I was both hoping and dreading the opportunity to meet him.

A lot of writers express themselves better through their writing than in person.  Obviously, this is certainly the case with me!  Donald Miller is not like that.  One of the reasons I like his writing is because it's like getting a letter from an old friend.  His side of the conversation makes you feel like you've known each other for years.  He speaks like he writes.  He makes you feel comfortable, engaged, and welcome.  I was so impressed, I wanted to ask him how he does that.  That was going to be my big question if I got to meet him.

Speaking of being impressed, what kind of well-known person invites people to their home?  Don Miller.  Anyone donating $50/month or more to his charity for fatherless sons gets an invite to his home for an intimate gathering and house concert.  It made me wonder how much money could be raised by other famous people doing the same thing.  But it won't happen.  Why?  Most famous people would be worried about crazy people, stalkers and kleptomaniacs in their home!  Don just honestly wants to know people and is genuinely interested in having meaningful conversations.  You would think that would have made it easier for me to talk to him, right?

I wouldn't have met him at all if it weren't for Kelsey.  She has some sort of built-in radar for finding artists after a show, and she is persistent.  She was not leaving the venue last night without making every effort to find Mr. Miller, and she did it.  There was a short line of people waiting to speak with him.  While we were waiting, we came up with all kinds of clever things to say.  Kelsey had been joking all night about a picture of him they kept putting up on the big screens, saying it looked like a cheesy Sears portrait.  She planned to tease him about that, and then ask him to sign her book, letting him know she hasn't even read it yet.  I planned to admit my social awkwardness and ask my question.

During the wait, I spotted one of the musical artists we saw that night, Robbie Seay.  I've long been a fan of his band, and I mentioned to Kelsey that I really wanted to tell him how much one of his songs meant to me.  She kept nudging me to do it, and I managed to blurt out a few words about the song.  He was grateful for the encouragement and chatted with us for awhile.  I began to think I could really do this...I might actually be able to have a conversation with someone I greatly admire.

Did I mention we were last in line?  In other words, we could have talked with Don as long as he would stay.  We introduced ourselves, and the only words that came out of my mouth were, "It's nice to meet you."  Kelsey amazed me by asking him to sign her book, talked to him about the movie currently being made about his book "Blue Like Jazz", and asking for a picture.  She kept giving me a look which said, "Say something!", but I couldn't do it.  Don looked at us for a second as if to say, "OK, do you want to talk more?"  Still, nothing came out of my mouth.  He shook our hands a second time and thanked us for coming to the show, and off we went.  *sigh*

As we talked about the experience on the way home, I told Kelsey I think the reason why I'm such a dork if because I'm really in awe of other people's talents.  She replied, "Mom, you are around people of amazing talent all the time!"  She's right.  Even right in my own home, I'm surrounded by people with incredible gifts to create, direct, and influence.  There are musicians at my church who are just as talented as the ones I heard last night.  I have friends who constantly amaze me with spiritual insight, artistic abilities, and graceful parenting.  All of these are just as deserving of my praise.

So, I'm sorry, Donald Miller.  I guess you're not that special.  :)

Somehow, I think Don will be OK with that.

Making a difference or just making an appearance?

Last Thursday, we traveled to Green Bay for the "Make A Difference" tour, featuring Toby Mac, Third Day, Michael W. Smith, and Max Lucado.  I had purchased the tickets back in June as a birthday gift for my mother and an anniversary gift for my husband.  Mom is a huge Michael W. Smith fan, and I've taken her to a few other concerts, including one with the opportunity to meet Michael in person.  Third Day is one of the few bands Dan enjoys seeing in concert, mainly because it is always a great worship experience.

So, I even paid a little extra for VIP tickets, which included a question-and-answer time with the artists, as well as excellent seats (third row, just left of center stage).  The Q & A time turned out to be a bit disappointing, as we were not even allowed to shake hands with them.  It was basically a bunch of people shoved in a room, gawking at the artists.  The questions were even censored and/or rewritten by the emcee, so it was fairly impersonal.

As I was sitting there feeling a little disappointed, it occurred to me that the whole point of this tour was to help the poor.  The tour was sponsored by World Vision, and it was intended to make us rich, lazy Americans passionate about the disenfranchised around the world, particularly children.  The lady sitting next my mother said she had been to every one of these shows, which were all over the country.  I'm glad she was supporting the tour, but I had to wonder if she could have made a bigger impact by staying home and writing World Vision a check for the amount of her travel expenses!

Then I thought, "OK, Lisa...what about you?"  I love going to concerts and hearing bands and speakers who inspire me.  That's all well and good, as long as I'm not just continually soaking up, like a sponge, but never pouring it back out into the lives of others.  I looked around that room and had a sense that most of these people were either strictly "soakers" or just avid fans practicing celebrity worship.  I don't want to be either one of those things.

I wonder how many of us truly want to make a difference but end up only making an appearance.  It's the same thing on Sunday morning.  Lots of people show up for church and receive the Lord's teaching, presence and communion, but how many empty themselves by giving to others throughout the week?  Let's face it, we are all pretty self-absorbed.  Well, I know I am anyway.

We headed into the arena for the concert.  I looked around and discovered the majority of the crowd was people my age or a little bit older.  Yep, we are the people with the money, the resources...and I thought, "Here we sit!"  Soak, soak, soak.

This revelation hit me even harder yesterday morning, as our pastor issued a challenge to our young people to be like Noah to their generation: righteous, blameless, walking faithfully with God by doing everything He commands us to do.  The challenge was issued to the congregation in whole, but he called out those 25 and under in particular because they are living in a time of increasing evil, just as Noah did.  

The question was posed:  "What is God commanding you to do?"  I know for certain God is commanding me to be an example.  If MY generation doesn't lead the way, it will be a lot harder for those young people.  There's nothing inherently wrong with soaking, but it must always be followed by squeezing into the lives of others.  Then, when we are emptied, we can soak more good stuff up again.

The past few days have filled me up.  Time to pour it back out.  Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

*******************************************************************************
P.S.  As for the concert, it was a great night.  So many talented musicians in all the bands, using their gifts to worship the Lord.  In particular, I would note Toby Mac's bass player, Third Day's keyboardist (with the biggest mitts I've ever seen to play to prolifically), and MWS's guitarist.  Mom had never heard Toby Mac or Third Day before, and she ended up becoming a fan of both.  This is funny because A) she is 81 years old and B) it was VERY loud!  You could feel the bass vibrating through your body!  She thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, even if it took a few days to get her hearing back.  I understand Max gave a great sermon as well (I missed it), and 173 children were sponsored for World Vision.  My only musical disappointment was the absence of Michael W. Smith's signature piano.  He played keyboard and guitar.  It was still good though!  :)  

The humor of asking for advice on the internet

Social networking can be many things - fun, helpful, frightening and weird - but sometimes it's just funny.

I read a lot of parenting sites to look for gems to share on PARENtEEN, something I started for Christian parents of teenagers some years ago.  Yesterday, I decided to solicit from advice from other moms on one of these sites.  I don't usually do this, but I needed a place to get my creative juices flowing after beginning the annual search for the perfect Christmas gifts.

When I asked my 20-year-old daughter, Kelsey, what she would like this year, she told me she didn't want any more "stuff."  She said she would rather have experiences at this stage of her life.  What a smart girl!  It's the perfect time in her life to pursue new things.  However, as I thought about it, I was stumped for ideas.  Most of these "experiences" are pretty costly.

So I posted my question on the parenting site.  I did indeed get some great ideas.  (Sorry, I won't share them on here because I suspect Kelsey will read this blog post!)  I got some really goofy suggestions too, but mostly, the ideas were just plain funny because these complete strangers don't know my daughter.

For example, they have no way of knowing Kelsey has a sensitivity to heights.  Thus, I have to rule out a hot air balloon ride, flight lessons, sky diving (both indoor and outdoor), ziplines, and helicopter rides.

They also had no idea how much Kelsey hates cold weather, in spite of growing up in the upper Midwest.  Somehow, I don't think she would enjoy skiing or ice skating lessons.  And, since she froze while camping at a music festival (in the middle of summer), I believe I'll toss out the idea of getting her something to use for camping.

Someone said I should send her to a local festival.  I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that person doesn't live in Wisconsin.  For those of you who don't, every little town for miles around has a festival.  Our town has Kornfest.  Yep.  And it's not a celebration of the band Korn.  People eat corn and drink beer.  No kidding.  

One person suggested giving her a class at the local technical school.  Since she's enrolled there, I don't think she would find that to be the kind of experience she was looking for.  Another person recommended a YMCA membership.  Sorry folks, she works there and already has one!

Kelsey has an aversion to video games, so I'll pass on the gift certificate for a gaming place.

Some of the ideas were funny just because I have a hard time picturing Kelsey doing these things:  rock climbing, shooting a gun or bow at an indoor range, or car racing.  Maybe that's not fair of me, but I'm sure Kelsey will let me know if she's interested.   That includes arranging a ride along in an ambulance on the off chance she might be intrigued by a career as an EMT.

However, this was my favorite and the funniest, by far:  find a farmer to teach her how to operate a tractor, forklift, or other large piece of machinery.  Really?  That's a gift you would give your 20-year-old daughter?  Living in a hick town in Wisconsin, that one tickled me pink.

On the internet, I guess sometimes you get what you ask for.  Lesson learned!

And the answer is...

For those of you who read my blog regularly, you'll remember that I had a trip planned which I came to realize may not have the blessing of God.  (Read the whole post here.)

I surrendered it to God, and up until yesterday afternoon, it appeared He was ok with it.  Then the bottom fell out.  It was one of those situations which would have allowed for me to still take the trip, but I did not have peace about it.  I was not feeling the blessing of God.

That feeling was confirmed after talking with my mother, who was set to accompany me on the trip.  She remarked (without knowing my spiritual struggle) that ever since we planned the trip, she had this feeling we weren't going.

I spent the remainder of the evening pouting, moping, even crying.  This verse kept coming to my mind:  "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  (1 Thessalonians 5:18)  I kept trying to get there, but I was wallowing in self-pity.

I woke up this morning and decided it was time for a new approach.  I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do today.  Sat down with my Bible and continued my study in the book of Hebrews, and here's what jumped off the page:  "Although he (Jesus) was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered."  (Hebrews 5:8)  This is what I like to call a "brick from heaven", because sometimes God needs to drop a brick on my head to get through to me!  What God wanted me to do was to learn this lesson, and learn it well.  If even the Lord Jesus Christ suffered to learn obedience, I must endure suffering as well.

That would have been enough, but having the Loving Father that I do, He sent me encouragement to live this out.  My October 14 devotional from the book, "Jesus Calling", reads as follows:

     "Be prepared to suffer for Me, in My Name.  All suffering has meaning in My kingdom.  Pain and problems are opportunities to demonstrate your trust in Me.  Bearing your circumstances bravely - even thanking Me for them - is one of the highest forms of praise.  This sacrifice of thanksgiving rings golden-toned bells of Joy throughout heavenly realms.  On earth also, your patient suffering send out ripples of good tidings in ever-widening circles.  When suffering strikes, remember that I am sovereign and that I can bring good out of everything.  Do not try to run from pain or hide from problems.  Instead, accept adversity in My Name, offering it up to Me for My purposes.  Thus, your suffering gains meaning and draws you closer to Me.  Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness."

Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to allow me to suffer, even though this situation is the tiniest thing in the scope of eternity.  I trust You to bring something beautiful out of the next three days.

7 things I've learned as a Vikings fan

On September 4, 1993, my husband and I took our wedding vows.  One of his vows (though not in the ceremony) was to convert me from a Minnesota Vikings fan to a Green Bay Packers fan.  I think he thought it would be easy, now that I was living in Wisconsin.

Seventeen years later, I'm still a Vikings fan.  Last night's game, like many others throughout the years, had me questioning why.  When others ask me why I'm a Vikings fan, I've always answered with, "Because I grew up in Minnesota."  Well, I decided last night, that's not good enough.

So, I examined my love of all things purple, and I came up with seven reasons why it's good for me to be a Vikings fan.  Here goes:

1. I learned the value of commitment.  Of all people, I hope my husband understands and appreciates this the most.  It's a value I've tried to impress upon my children as well.  When you commit to something, you stick to it.  I've failed in this area before in my life, so I truly know the joy of sticking it out. 
2. I learned never to give up on someone just because they are in a slump.  We all make mistakes and fall short.  I have people in my life who've stood by me, even when I was acting like a complete moron.  I have to give the same to my team.  
3. I have learned to eat, drink, and breathe persistence.  Just because I haven't met my goal yet, I don't just quit!  I press on for the prize.  
4. I have learned not everyone has experienced being a champion.  These are the folks that need support more than anyone.  They are the down-trodden, the oppressed, the needy.  In fact, as a Christian, these are the people I am to look out for the most.  
5. I have learned people will often love or hate you based on their own need at the moment.  This has helped me see things from another person's point of view, rather than just my own.  
6. I have learned people deserve another chance.  Even when they are old.  Maybe especially because they are old!
7. Most importantly, I have learned the value of standing up for something you believe in and not caving in to peer pressure.                                                                                                                           

So I will remain a Vikings fan, here in the land of green, gold, and cheese, despite my husband's best efforts to sway me.

Oh, and one more thing.  In case you didn't know, purple is the color of royalty.  Kings never have to "win" anything to deserve honor.  :)

Everybody wants to be a rock star

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Colossians 3:23-24


Ask five kids what they want to be when they grow up.  I will bet four out of five will want to be some sort of celebrity, whether that is a musician, actor, or sports star.  And why wouldn't they?  Isn't that what everyone in our culture strives for?  Fame is the ultimate intoxicant in this party called "Life in the 21st Century."

Christians are certainly not exempt from this.  Think about it: God calls you to do something, and you immediately picture it as this wildly popular, successful triumph.  For example, if you are called to be a writer, you think you have to write a best seller.  If you are called to be a musician, you imagine performing before crowds of thousands.  And what pastor hasn't dreamt of leading a megachurch?  It all seems so world-changing, powerful, and divine.  After all, that's what God wants, right?

The truth is, God has a plan for your life, just as He has a plan for all those famous people.  The thing is, it might not be the same plan.  While Rick Warren was called to impact thousands of people, your role may be to impact one person (who may, in turn, impact thousands).

Mother Teresa is often credited with this statement:  "God doesn't call us to be successful, he calls us to be faithful."  That means, if you were called to be a mother, change that dirty diaper with gusto.  If you were called to be a waiter, look for every opportunity to be Jesus to a customer.  If you were called to be a teacher, share your knowledge with creativity and excitement.  Do your job to the best of your ability in the spirit of serving Christ.

That doesn't mean you can't dream about having a ministry that changes the world.  Jesus said, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much" (Luke 16:10).  He did not say if you are trustworthy with very little, you can expect to be given much.  He calls us to be faithful in the small things, even if that is all they ever amount to, in our eyes.  We must trust that these small things are part of the greater good in furthering the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth.

Do we need to ask God's permission?

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  Proverbs 16:9


"Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive."  1 Corinthians 10:23  


I haven't seen my favorite cousins in over three years.  I say "cousins", but they are more like sisters to me. We've never lived geographically close to one another, but even when we were young and got together at the occasional holiday, we could always pick up where we left off.  There has always been a special bond.  Plus, they are both incredibly funny.  We are like teenage girls when we get together...lots of giggling!

I've missed spending time with them (sorry Facebook, you just don't cut the mustard!).  Every time we've attempted to get together, something has come up.  It's been really frustrating.  Then, a few weeks ago, I found out my favorite band was going to be playing in their city.  I haven't seen Switchfoot in a long time either, and it seemed like divine intervention.  So, without consulting anyone - and I do mean, anyone - I bought the tickets and put it on the calendar.  In fact, I do believe my attitude at the time was, "I'm going!  I'm just going, darn it, and I don't care if anyone likes it!"  Yep, real spiritual.

The concert is now a week away.  Guess who woke up under the weather today?  Both my daughter and me.

My first reaction was irritation and anger.  I complained to God about this possible interruption in my plans.  I believe the conversation went something like this:

Me:  God, I can't be sick!  I miss my cousins too much and I just have to go!
God:  It would have been nice if you'd asked Me.
Me:  Oh.  Yeah.  I never did that, did I?  Oops.  Sorry about that.
God:  You know, you don't need my permission to do these things.  You are free to do whatever you please.  But when you ask, it allows me the opportunity to bless it.  And to bless you.
Me:  (smacks self in forehead) You're so right!  Lord, I'm so sorry for not asking you.  Please forgive me!

I started to think about my adult daughter who lives at home.  She's almost always considerate about letting me know her plans.   She does not need my permission, but she does it out of respect, and in a way, looking for my blessing.  If I say I do not approve of her plans, she still has the option to follow through or not, but she knows things will go better if she listens to me.  She knows I have her best interest at heart.

It is like that with the Lord.  He always has my best interest at heart.  And if He doesn't want me to go visit my cousins next week, there's a reason why, and I can trust that it is for my good.

I ended the conversation with God like this:  "God, I still want to go, but if You don't want me to, I won't go."  Ouch.  That still stings.