Cinderella gets her man

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."  Psalm 37:4


Volunteering in youth work the past 15 years, I've seen my fair share of Cinderellas.  Girls who are broken...emotionally and/or physically abandoned and poor in spirit.  Girls who don't think much of themselves and can't see their own beauty.  Girls who have no hope for the future.

Then there are the grown-up Cinderellas.  The women I encounter in my neighborhood, at school, and even at church.  They have it all…everything they ever dreamed of.  They got the fairytale wedding and the successful, handsome husband.  They live in the American dream house, drive luxury vehicles, and have beautiful, healthy children.  Yet, they still see themselves as ugly, worthless, and unloved.

You see, the prince they gave themselves to is not a man.  Their prince is not their husband.  Their prince is a lie they were told, and they gave themselves fully to it.  "If only I have this, this, and this, I will live happily ever after!"  And once they have it, they still feel empty, weak, and alone.

Wake up, Cinderellas!  Wake up and meet the true Prince, the King of Kings, the One who loves you.  Do you know what he says about you?  He says, "How beautiful you are, my darling!  Oh, how beautiful!" He says, "Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely."  

There's more…
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes"
"My dove, my perfect one, is unique"
"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."
"I will never leave you or forsake you."

Jesus is your Prince.  There is no other.  Give yourself to Him, and you will know love like you've never known before.  There is no one who knows you better or loves you more.  You will be His bride forever and live in the beautiful mansion He has prepared for you. Only in His eternal kingdom exists happily ever after.

Discovering the lost art of shutting up

"Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for them."  Proverbs 26:12

I just finished scrolling through my Facebook and Twitter feeds this morning.  As usual, there are strong opinions voiced about politics, sports, and the latest controversial evangelical pastor.

We all think we are right, and how dare anyone disagree!

I was never so aware of this until social media was invented.  I mean, I've always been aware of dissenting opinions.  There's nothing wrong with having your own opinion, but we have become a society of dogmatics.  We are so sure we are right, we state our positions as though they are unchallengeable.

I'm not even referring to matters of doctrine or spiritual truths.  It could be a debate over which coffee shop has the best lattes.  We all have an opinion, and we have this deep need to share it with the world and defend it to the death.

I'm not saying I'm any different.  I happen to be very passionate on a number of subjects.  I have been known to engage in some of these intense disagreements on occasion.  The thing is, I almost always end up regretting it.  Why?  Because someone ends up getting hurt, and in the end no one ever changes their mind.  Worse than that, when it involves members of the family of God, it reflects poorly on the love we are to have for one another.

I've also come to realize (and this was a shocking blow, by the way) that I'm not always right.  And I really, really dislike the taste of crow.

Several years ago, in the course of preparing a Bible study about hearing from God, I discovered the Bible has a lot to say about being quiet.  I compiled a list of verses that I called "The Duct Tape Verses", because they are the equivalent of having spiritual duct tape slapped over your mouth.  I will list them below.

Though I am not always successful in applying that duct tape, I hope to continue to grow in my devotion to brotherly love, and to honor others above myself (Romans 12:10).  I will continue to have strong opinions about many things, but I hope to keep most of them to myself.


DUCT TAPE VERSES

A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
       but delights in airing his own opinions.
Proverbs 18:2

A fool's lips bring him strife,
       and his mouth invites a beating.
Proverbs 18:6

A fool's mouth is his undoing,
       and his lips are a snare to his soul.
Proverbs 18:7

He who answers before listening—
       that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 18:13

The tongue has the power of life and death,
       and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

A man's wisdom gives him patience;
       it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11

I said, "I will watch my ways
       and keep my tongue from sin;
       I will put a muzzle on my mouth
       as long as the wicked are in my presence."
Psalm 39:1

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
       and discerning if he holds his tongue.
Proverbs 17:28

But the LORD is in his holy temple;
       let all the earth be silent before him.
Habakkuk 2:20

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
       keep watch over the door of my lips.
Psalm 141:3

A wise man's heart guides his mouth,
       and his lips promote instruction.
Proverbs 16:23

He who guards his mouth and his tongue
       keeps himself from calamity.
Proverbs 21:23

Do not be quick with your mouth,
       do not be hasty in your heart
       to utter anything before God.
       God is in heaven
       and you are on earth,
       so let your words be few.
Ecclesiastes 5:2

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 4:29

He who guards his lips guards his life,
       but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3

When words are many, sin is not absent,
       but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Proverbs 10:19

A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor,
       but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
Proverbs 11:12

Reckless words pierce like a sword,
       but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
James 1:26

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James 3:5

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

Fools vent their anger,
 but the wise quietly hold it back.
Proverbs 29:11

There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Proverbs 29:20

And my personal favorite…taken completely out of context, but very funny and often true…

If only you would be altogether silent!

       For you, that would be wisdom.

Job 13:5

Casey Anthony: Where are the prayer warriors?

I just finished reading a blog post by Matthew Paul Turner (Jesus Needs New PR) about the verdict in the Casey Anthony case.  He asks why we are more passionate about justice being served in this case than about the death of other children around the world, or even in our own country.

I also read a piece today in which Rush Limbaugh said if Caylee had been killed in the womb (i.e. aborted), the media wouldn't care.  According to Limbaugh, "If the child had died, what, two years earlier in the womb this woman would be a star. She'd be a hero." (full post here)

In addition, I've seen the outrage on Facebook and Twitter and heard the comments on call-in radio shows.

Two things really bother me about this whole thing.  One, I know everyone is convinced Casey murdered her daughter.  And maybe she did.  But what if she didn't?  I mean, not a single one of us knows for sure.  You may think you know, but you don't.  The only ones who know for sure are Casey, Caylee, and God.

But the thing that bothers me the most is the lack of mercy and love shown by Christians.  Yes, we are called to defend the defenseless, but we are also called to be a light in the darkness to those who are lost.  Casey Anthony is one very lost young woman.  Casey needs people to get on their knees and pray for her.  Casey needs Jesus.

I'm asking everyone who reads this post to speak to God on behalf of Casey.  "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."  (Luke 6:36)

Sometimes I hate being the mom

Disclaimer:  This post was written very late at night by a tired mommy whose daughter decided to go out.  

Sometimes I hate being the mom.

Oh…sorry…is that not cool to say?  That's right, I'm supposed to say, "Being a mom is the greatest thing that ever happened to me."  Or, "Motherhood has fulfilled the deepest yearnings of my soul."

While those statements may be true, and motherhood is indeed rewarding, I still have moments when I hate being the mom.  I hate being the one who manages the details of everyone's schedules.  I hate being the one who makes sure kids get their homework and/or chores done (i.e. the nag).

I've seen two children through the teen years, and I hate being the one who sacrifices sleep to make sure the cherub arrives home safely among icy roads, thunderstorms, inexperienced drivers and drunk ones.  Only to have said cherub look at me like I'm a freak of nature for ever having a concerned moment.

My children will tell you I worry too much.  It's not their fault.  They don't get it.  They will never understand until they have children of their own.  Even then, it's likely only the girls will get it.  As I told a friend yesterday, the worry sector in women's brains triples in size the minute they give birth.  I used to question God's wisdom in designing us that way, but I've come to realize, it's just another way He draws us to Himself.  We have to learn to trust.  We watch our babies go out the door and release them into His care, knowing (but not comprehending) that He loves them even more than we do.

The tables have turned for my own mother.  The kids now worry about her.  This gives me an idea.  When I'm a senior citizen, I think I will stay out till all hours, not return phone calls or texts, and fail to clean my room.  That's only fair, right?

P.S.  The author was able to go to sleep after much prayer.  She got up the next morning, confirmed that her daughter was safely home, and thanked the Lord for another day of being the mom.  

Will I actually read a whole book this summer?

I have a whole stack of books I have not yet read.  Most of these were either given to me by friends or family, and the rest I purchased based on the recommendation of someone I respect.  I have another stack of books that I started to read but eventually found boring.  That stack was originally in the first stack.

Then I have a mental stack of books, i.e. a list.  These are books I am really interested to read, yet, I can't bring myself to purchase them because I have all these unfinished books.  I feel guilty for not reading or finishing all these other books.

I'm guessing this has a lot to do with my obsessive compulsiveness and deep desire for structure and control.  But I think I'm going to have to let this go, or I'll end up reading nothing before the summer is over.

Does anyone else have this issue?  And would anyone like a stack of free books?  :)

10 Things I Learned From My Dad

When my father passed away four years ago, a lot was said about the legacy he left. Most of it revolved around the hundreds of lives he impacted spiritually through the years. Yet, the lives he most affected were those of his children, though not strictly in spiritual matters.

Even though there were many times when my father and I did not see eye to eye, much of the wisdom he passed on to me has resulted in great blessings in my life...at least, when I chose to listen to it.

Here are a few important things I learned from my dad:

1.  Laugh, even (and maybe most importantly) at yourself. My dad LOVED to tell jokes. They were usually the corniest jokes you ever heard, and if you lived at our house, you had probably heard them a hundred times. Yet, every time he would tell a joke, he would laugh even harder than the person he told it to, like Dad himself was hearing it for the first time. I guess he figured if the joke wasn't all that funny, he might be. To this day, I can still hear my dad's laugh in my head. And my kids would probably tell you I inherited his same sense of warped humor.

2.  Pinch pennies. My father was probably the most frugal person I've ever known. When I left college to work for Dad in his newly acquired radio station, the two of us shared an apartment until Mom was able to make the move. I quickly discovered Dad's grocery shopping consisted of buying everything generic. Generic macaroni and cheese, vegetables, and tuna. Although, I appreciated his desire to save money, I finally drew the line at generic toilet paper! Later in life, as a single parent trying to make ends meet, I understood how important it is to know how to save money, especially when you worked so hard for it.  

3.  The importance of family. Even though his job required him to work long hours, when Dad was at home, he tried to be as engaged as possible. He played games with us and tried to coach my brothers in their sports. We took a family vacation every summer, and our other vacation time was spent with extended family. He always maintained close relationships with his own siblings as well. I always felt I was part of a family that loved and cared for one another.

4.  Take risks. I know my mother might read this and disagree that this one was a good thing. Dad always seemed to have an idea for a new business or venture, and he could have been accused of being a bit impulsive about pursuing those plans. Unfortunately, most of his ideas ended up being less than lucrative. Still, I learned how important it is to run after your dreams, trusting God to provide for all your needs. And hopefully, I learned from his mistakes. Okay, Mom?

5.  Read my Bible. As I mentioned before, Dad was a hard worker. Many nights, he came home from work exhausted. He would park himself in his recliner, and you could bet there would be one of two things in his hand: either a crossword puzzle, or his Bible. Although he might fall asleep reading either one, he modeled for me how important it is to spend time in God's Word each day. The older I get, the more I realize the spiritual power in reading this supernatural book, and I need that!

6.  Help others. Dad was also a great role model of "helping his neighbor." Whether it was a neighbor or stranger, Dad had no problem reaching out to someone in need. Once, during a raging blizzard, he rescued two college students from their stranded car, and brought them to our house. They ended up spending a couple of days snowed in with us. It was not unusual for Dad to bring home a stranger for dinner, or to leave the house to help someone who needed a hand.

7.  Share your faith. Billy Graham had nothing on my father. Ok, well, he did have a much larger ministry, but Dad was a bold evangelist. He had no problem speaking of Jesus to anyone and everyone he knew. He also had a natural comfort in talking to people. I have a long way to go in this area, and I'm not as outgoing as Dad was, but I hope to follow more of his example in this area of my life.

8.  Work hard. Have I mentioned that my father was a hard worker? Both he and my mother were tireless, or at least they seemed to be. They never sat down until the work was done. That ethic has been ingrained in me since I was a small child, and I'm glad. I wasn't so glad back then, but I'm thankful now. 

9.  Use your gifts. If you needed something fixed - anything - you called Dad. He just had a knack for figuring out the way things worked. This opened the door for him to build relationships with a lot of people, and to make a difference in their lives. It took me a long time to recognize my God-given gifts, but now that I do, I'm working to instill this in my daily living.

10.  Have a positive outlook. My dad definitely had "the glass is half full" outlook. I think it's because he always saw things through the lens of eternity. He knew it would all get worked out in the end. I am incredibly thankful to have been raised with that attitude, and I want to leave that legacy of hope and joy to my children. 

Thanks, Dad, for all you taught me.  Enjoy Fathers' Day, celebrating with our Heavenly Father!  

Things I learned today

Do you desire knowledge?  Are you thirsting for parental wisdom?  My advice is to take a 300 mile road trip with two 14-year-olds, especially if one of them is your daughter.  Here are just a few of the things I learned today:

• You don't "become a fan" of something on Facebook anymore.  You "like" it.  
• Science exhibits about the human body are gross.  
• Fire is cool.  So are shiny things.
• Even people from Wisconsin can get sick of cheese.  Some people, not all.  
• There's always room for dessert.  
• Girls, no matter what the age, still love to color.  
• I should never use a GPS.  I always end up getting lost and finding the way on my own.  

Tomorrow I will likely learn that I am corny and boring for posting this blog.  I'll take my chances.