Some of you are too young to remember Keith Green, but he was both a musical and spiritual hero of mine growing up in the 1970's. He used a lot of Scripture in his lyrics, and to this day, when I read those words in the Bible, a song starts playing in my head. Such was the case this morning, as I was reading 1 Samuel 15.
The Lord told Saul to destroy the Amalekites completely, to leave nothing. Saul did indeed conquer the Amalekites, but he also plundered and pillaged, thinking it was okay because he sacrificed some of it to the Lord. The Lord was grieved because Saul did not obey him and sent Samuel to talk to him. Saul gave his explanation (i.e. excuse) for disobeying. "To obey is better than sacrifice," said Samuel to Saul.
I've been learning a bit about obedience lately. Sometimes, the Lord asks me to do things that are uncomfortable or inconvenient. Sometimes, I'm downright rebellious and refuse to do them. Other times, I might do them, but like Saul, I tweak the plan to satisfy my own desires.
A few weeks ago, I heard a teaching on the Lord's Prayer. The suggestion was made to pray through the prayer line by line, adding a personal tone to the conversation. I sat down to do this and immediately got hung up at "Our Father." My Father, my heavenly and eternal Father...the top dog for all time. I asked God to help me recognize Him as THE authority in my life, and I asked for the Holy Spirit to enable me to surrender to God's will.
What a powerful prayer that is turning out to be in the area of obedience! Now, when I am asked to do something I'm not excited about, my prayer goes something like this: "OK, Lord, I know you are asking me to do this, and I know You know I don't want to. But I will do it if You want me to." Admittedly, I have to work on the tone of my voice...I still sound like a pouty little child...but at least I'm sincere. :)
The cool thing about this: He doesn't always make me do it. For example, He will ask me to get together with someone who I know is going through a rough time, and because I'm tired/busy/stressed out, I don't feel up to it. But I tell Him I will if He wants me to. Most of the time, I have to do it and end up being glad I did. But sometimes, I'll get a call canceling the meeting (often for the strangest reasons), and I'm off the hook.
Isn't that just like a Dad with his daughter? 1 John 5:3 says, "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome." I used to struggle with this verse because I did see some things as burdensome. Now I understand - behind those commands are His love. To obey is truly better than sacrifice.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Overflow
I hadn't intended to blog today, just because everyone and their grandmothers seem to be sharing 9/11 memories. Then I read a friend's blog, and she talked about sharing her memories for her kids' sake. I do think it's important for them to know how I felt because the initial hours of the attacks forever changed my parenting.
It actually all started two years prior with the Columbine school shooting. My oldest, Jeremy, was in middle school then, and although it did cause me to think differently about my kids' safety at school (and pray a lot more!), I wasn't overcome by fear. Still, it was the beginning of a long process of letting go. Each day, I let them go out the door to school with the hope they would return several hours later.
Anyone will tell you, the morning of 9/11/01 began like any other. Once again, Jeremy and Kelsey went off to school, Dan went to work, and I was at home with my preschooler, Emma. For some unknown reason, I had the TV on, which I almost never did. (Oddly enough, that happened to me one other time: the day the Space Shuttle exploded.) I was in the bedroom folding laundry when the first news reports came filtering in. At first, it seemed it was a horrible accident, but it quickly became apparent that something else was going on.
When the second building was hit, it was as if that plane had flown right into my heart. There was a gaping hole that was overflowing with emotion. My immediate thought was, "We are at war! Someone is attacking the United States!" I thought of old war movies with bombings and chaos, and wondered if that was how life was going to be from now on. I watched in horror as people jumped from the burning towers and people on the street ran from the debris. Growing up in the Cold War, I suddenly questioned why we had done away with bomb shelters. What should I do? Should I take my little one and go to the basement? Fear, anger, and grief gripped me as I realized my family was scattered in the midst of all this.
Then it hit me hard. I might never see my husband or two children on this earth again.
I went to my knees and prayed to the God of hope.
I was relieved to discover the phones were working and talked to Dan about what was going on. I was extremely concerned for Kelsey. She was in elementary school, and when I called there, they said the kids were huddled around the television just like everyone else. She was my sensitive girl, and I wasn't sure if she could handle it. The school told parents they could pick up their children if they wanted but reassured us they were doing fine. All I knew was, I wanted my family home. Together.
Dan went to the school to see if Kelsey wanted to come home, but she said she was fine and stayed. I had to endure hours before everyone was finally back at home. My heart was so heavy all day for those who lost loved ones. The attacks had stopped, so I worried less. But like everyone else, I wondered when or if it would happen again.
The next day, I had to send them all out the door again. It was different this time. My level of trust they would return safely was at an all time low. And I remember this clearly...Jeremy said, "Mom, Pastor Dan (our youth pastor at the time) always says we should never say goodbye. Instead we should say 'See ya later.' Because one way or another, we're gonna see each other later." From that day forward, that became the way we parted. "See ya later, I love you."
I said this day forever changed my parenting. My kids would probably tell you I worry too much. I make them check in when they are gone, I can't sleep until they get home at night...stuff like that. Mostly though, 9/11 changed my parenting because I learned not to take my family for granted. I learned to treasure time spent with them, and to try to avoid going to bed or leaving one another angry. Have I always been perfect with this? No. Not even close. But I think 9/11 made me better because I learned the value of hope.
Today, I've decided to mark this anniversary by trusting God. Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope." Each day, as my family scatters to work and school, I am going to pray this verse and wait for the overflow.
See ya later. I love you.
It actually all started two years prior with the Columbine school shooting. My oldest, Jeremy, was in middle school then, and although it did cause me to think differently about my kids' safety at school (and pray a lot more!), I wasn't overcome by fear. Still, it was the beginning of a long process of letting go. Each day, I let them go out the door to school with the hope they would return several hours later.
Anyone will tell you, the morning of 9/11/01 began like any other. Once again, Jeremy and Kelsey went off to school, Dan went to work, and I was at home with my preschooler, Emma. For some unknown reason, I had the TV on, which I almost never did. (Oddly enough, that happened to me one other time: the day the Space Shuttle exploded.) I was in the bedroom folding laundry when the first news reports came filtering in. At first, it seemed it was a horrible accident, but it quickly became apparent that something else was going on.
When the second building was hit, it was as if that plane had flown right into my heart. There was a gaping hole that was overflowing with emotion. My immediate thought was, "We are at war! Someone is attacking the United States!" I thought of old war movies with bombings and chaos, and wondered if that was how life was going to be from now on. I watched in horror as people jumped from the burning towers and people on the street ran from the debris. Growing up in the Cold War, I suddenly questioned why we had done away with bomb shelters. What should I do? Should I take my little one and go to the basement? Fear, anger, and grief gripped me as I realized my family was scattered in the midst of all this.
Then it hit me hard. I might never see my husband or two children on this earth again.
I went to my knees and prayed to the God of hope.
I was relieved to discover the phones were working and talked to Dan about what was going on. I was extremely concerned for Kelsey. She was in elementary school, and when I called there, they said the kids were huddled around the television just like everyone else. She was my sensitive girl, and I wasn't sure if she could handle it. The school told parents they could pick up their children if they wanted but reassured us they were doing fine. All I knew was, I wanted my family home. Together.
Dan went to the school to see if Kelsey wanted to come home, but she said she was fine and stayed. I had to endure hours before everyone was finally back at home. My heart was so heavy all day for those who lost loved ones. The attacks had stopped, so I worried less. But like everyone else, I wondered when or if it would happen again.
The next day, I had to send them all out the door again. It was different this time. My level of trust they would return safely was at an all time low. And I remember this clearly...Jeremy said, "Mom, Pastor Dan (our youth pastor at the time) always says we should never say goodbye. Instead we should say 'See ya later.' Because one way or another, we're gonna see each other later." From that day forward, that became the way we parted. "See ya later, I love you."
I said this day forever changed my parenting. My kids would probably tell you I worry too much. I make them check in when they are gone, I can't sleep until they get home at night...stuff like that. Mostly though, 9/11 changed my parenting because I learned not to take my family for granted. I learned to treasure time spent with them, and to try to avoid going to bed or leaving one another angry. Have I always been perfect with this? No. Not even close. But I think 9/11 made me better because I learned the value of hope.
Today, I've decided to mark this anniversary by trusting God. Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope." Each day, as my family scatters to work and school, I am going to pray this verse and wait for the overflow.
See ya later. I love you.
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Love is blind
Have you ever felt betrayed by someone? If you live on this planet, your answer to that question should be "yes", if you're being honest. Whether it be a friend, a spouse, a co-worker or a neighbor, people are inevitably going to disappoint me at times. It's just a fact of life, and it should not surprise me when it happens. Yet, it always seems to catch me off guard, and as a result, sometimes it takes awhile to reach a place of forgiveness.
This morning, I was sorting through the remnants of those emotions from something that happened yesterday. I was over the anger, but holding on to the hurt the way a child holds on to their security blanket. As this thought passed through my brain, it became evident that I was, indeed, acting like a child.
"OK, God...I'm ready to let it go." *sigh* I stepped out on the deck to enjoy the cool, quiet morning with a cup of tea, my devotional, and my Bible. I settled into a chair and opened the devotional. The first line read like this: "I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND, as well as your King."
My mind emphasizing the first word, "I", my heart took a direct hit. Often times we refer to people or even spouses as our best friends, but the reality is, none of them could ever be best. That description belongs to my King, the lover of my soul, my friend Jesus. He is best because He will never betray me. He will never let me down. He always keeps His word. And He loved me enough to give His very life for me.
As I let those words wash over me, I picked up my Bible and found the spot where I had left off in Song of Songs. Chapter 4 starts off with Jesus saying to me, "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" Ha, yeah right, Lord. You see me both inside and out right now, and you know perfectly well that's not true.
He goes on to describe my many features in glorious fashion, which nearly set me to laughing. Then he says, "All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." OK, now You're just being silly!
That's when it hit me: love is blind. Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse, how everything they did was adorable and wonderful? Remember how defensive you would get if a friend or family member pointed out some character flaw in him/her? "Love must be blind!", they would say.
When Jesus hung on the cross, suffered and died for me, He willingly took all that ugliness away. In His eyes, because of the price He paid, God sees no flaw in us. He sees us as perfect, inside and out. He's not just blowing smoke when He says we are beautiful. His love makes Him blind to our sinful nature.
Now THAT'S what I call a BFF. The only best friend I will ever need. For once, I'm glad love is blind.
This morning, I was sorting through the remnants of those emotions from something that happened yesterday. I was over the anger, but holding on to the hurt the way a child holds on to their security blanket. As this thought passed through my brain, it became evident that I was, indeed, acting like a child.
"OK, God...I'm ready to let it go." *sigh* I stepped out on the deck to enjoy the cool, quiet morning with a cup of tea, my devotional, and my Bible. I settled into a chair and opened the devotional. The first line read like this: "I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND, as well as your King."
My mind emphasizing the first word, "I", my heart took a direct hit. Often times we refer to people or even spouses as our best friends, but the reality is, none of them could ever be best. That description belongs to my King, the lover of my soul, my friend Jesus. He is best because He will never betray me. He will never let me down. He always keeps His word. And He loved me enough to give His very life for me.
As I let those words wash over me, I picked up my Bible and found the spot where I had left off in Song of Songs. Chapter 4 starts off with Jesus saying to me, "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" Ha, yeah right, Lord. You see me both inside and out right now, and you know perfectly well that's not true.
He goes on to describe my many features in glorious fashion, which nearly set me to laughing. Then he says, "All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." OK, now You're just being silly!
That's when it hit me: love is blind. Remember when you first fell in love with your spouse, how everything they did was adorable and wonderful? Remember how defensive you would get if a friend or family member pointed out some character flaw in him/her? "Love must be blind!", they would say.
When Jesus hung on the cross, suffered and died for me, He willingly took all that ugliness away. In His eyes, because of the price He paid, God sees no flaw in us. He sees us as perfect, inside and out. He's not just blowing smoke when He says we are beautiful. His love makes Him blind to our sinful nature.
Now THAT'S what I call a BFF. The only best friend I will ever need. For once, I'm glad love is blind.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Sweet freedom
| Freedom...what many mothers are experiencing today, the first day of school! I'm experiencing it too, though not in the same way. The first day of school for home schoolers means MORE work, and the kids are still around! A few months ago, I blogged about the word "freedom" (read the whole post here). For weeks after that, the word kept popping up in things I read, listened to, and saw. I really wasn't sure what I was supposed to be grasping, and quite honestly, I had forgotten about it until today. I took Molly for a walk this morning. This dog has sure been good for my spiritual life! Epiphanies seem to happen most often when I'm walking her. OK, so maybe it's not so much the dog, but the fact that I pray well while we are walking. So this morning, I was praying...thanking, petitioning, and confessing. Suddenly I was overcome with the reality that I am literally uncondemnable in the eyes of God (Romans 8:1). For the first time in my life, I was able to lay hold of that truth. And then this flashed through my mind: HOW FREEING IS THAT?! To know that God sees me that way, that I am the righteousness of God, is liberating beyond measure. It radically increases my love for my Savior, and in turn, makes it easy to make Him Lord of my life. Never has serving a Master been so sweet. Freedom. Sweet freedom. |
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