The humor of asking for advice on the internet

Social networking can be many things - fun, helpful, frightening and weird - but sometimes it's just funny.

I read a lot of parenting sites to look for gems to share on PARENtEEN, something I started for Christian parents of teenagers some years ago.  Yesterday, I decided to solicit from advice from other moms on one of these sites.  I don't usually do this, but I needed a place to get my creative juices flowing after beginning the annual search for the perfect Christmas gifts.

When I asked my 20-year-old daughter, Kelsey, what she would like this year, she told me she didn't want any more "stuff."  She said she would rather have experiences at this stage of her life.  What a smart girl!  It's the perfect time in her life to pursue new things.  However, as I thought about it, I was stumped for ideas.  Most of these "experiences" are pretty costly.

So I posted my question on the parenting site.  I did indeed get some great ideas.  (Sorry, I won't share them on here because I suspect Kelsey will read this blog post!)  I got some really goofy suggestions too, but mostly, the ideas were just plain funny because these complete strangers don't know my daughter.

For example, they have no way of knowing Kelsey has a sensitivity to heights.  Thus, I have to rule out a hot air balloon ride, flight lessons, sky diving (both indoor and outdoor), ziplines, and helicopter rides.

They also had no idea how much Kelsey hates cold weather, in spite of growing up in the upper Midwest.  Somehow, I don't think she would enjoy skiing or ice skating lessons.  And, since she froze while camping at a music festival (in the middle of summer), I believe I'll toss out the idea of getting her something to use for camping.

Someone said I should send her to a local festival.  I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that person doesn't live in Wisconsin.  For those of you who don't, every little town for miles around has a festival.  Our town has Kornfest.  Yep.  And it's not a celebration of the band Korn.  People eat corn and drink beer.  No kidding.  

One person suggested giving her a class at the local technical school.  Since she's enrolled there, I don't think she would find that to be the kind of experience she was looking for.  Another person recommended a YMCA membership.  Sorry folks, she works there and already has one!

Kelsey has an aversion to video games, so I'll pass on the gift certificate for a gaming place.

Some of the ideas were funny just because I have a hard time picturing Kelsey doing these things:  rock climbing, shooting a gun or bow at an indoor range, or car racing.  Maybe that's not fair of me, but I'm sure Kelsey will let me know if she's interested.   That includes arranging a ride along in an ambulance on the off chance she might be intrigued by a career as an EMT.

However, this was my favorite and the funniest, by far:  find a farmer to teach her how to operate a tractor, forklift, or other large piece of machinery.  Really?  That's a gift you would give your 20-year-old daughter?  Living in a hick town in Wisconsin, that one tickled me pink.

On the internet, I guess sometimes you get what you ask for.  Lesson learned!

And the answer is...

For those of you who read my blog regularly, you'll remember that I had a trip planned which I came to realize may not have the blessing of God.  (Read the whole post here.)

I surrendered it to God, and up until yesterday afternoon, it appeared He was ok with it.  Then the bottom fell out.  It was one of those situations which would have allowed for me to still take the trip, but I did not have peace about it.  I was not feeling the blessing of God.

That feeling was confirmed after talking with my mother, who was set to accompany me on the trip.  She remarked (without knowing my spiritual struggle) that ever since we planned the trip, she had this feeling we weren't going.

I spent the remainder of the evening pouting, moping, even crying.  This verse kept coming to my mind:  "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  (1 Thessalonians 5:18)  I kept trying to get there, but I was wallowing in self-pity.

I woke up this morning and decided it was time for a new approach.  I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do today.  Sat down with my Bible and continued my study in the book of Hebrews, and here's what jumped off the page:  "Although he (Jesus) was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered."  (Hebrews 5:8)  This is what I like to call a "brick from heaven", because sometimes God needs to drop a brick on my head to get through to me!  What God wanted me to do was to learn this lesson, and learn it well.  If even the Lord Jesus Christ suffered to learn obedience, I must endure suffering as well.

That would have been enough, but having the Loving Father that I do, He sent me encouragement to live this out.  My October 14 devotional from the book, "Jesus Calling", reads as follows:

     "Be prepared to suffer for Me, in My Name.  All suffering has meaning in My kingdom.  Pain and problems are opportunities to demonstrate your trust in Me.  Bearing your circumstances bravely - even thanking Me for them - is one of the highest forms of praise.  This sacrifice of thanksgiving rings golden-toned bells of Joy throughout heavenly realms.  On earth also, your patient suffering send out ripples of good tidings in ever-widening circles.  When suffering strikes, remember that I am sovereign and that I can bring good out of everything.  Do not try to run from pain or hide from problems.  Instead, accept adversity in My Name, offering it up to Me for My purposes.  Thus, your suffering gains meaning and draws you closer to Me.  Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness."

Thank you, Lord, for loving me enough to allow me to suffer, even though this situation is the tiniest thing in the scope of eternity.  I trust You to bring something beautiful out of the next three days.

7 things I've learned as a Vikings fan

On September 4, 1993, my husband and I took our wedding vows.  One of his vows (though not in the ceremony) was to convert me from a Minnesota Vikings fan to a Green Bay Packers fan.  I think he thought it would be easy, now that I was living in Wisconsin.

Seventeen years later, I'm still a Vikings fan.  Last night's game, like many others throughout the years, had me questioning why.  When others ask me why I'm a Vikings fan, I've always answered with, "Because I grew up in Minnesota."  Well, I decided last night, that's not good enough.

So, I examined my love of all things purple, and I came up with seven reasons why it's good for me to be a Vikings fan.  Here goes:

1. I learned the value of commitment.  Of all people, I hope my husband understands and appreciates this the most.  It's a value I've tried to impress upon my children as well.  When you commit to something, you stick to it.  I've failed in this area before in my life, so I truly know the joy of sticking it out. 
2. I learned never to give up on someone just because they are in a slump.  We all make mistakes and fall short.  I have people in my life who've stood by me, even when I was acting like a complete moron.  I have to give the same to my team.  
3. I have learned to eat, drink, and breathe persistence.  Just because I haven't met my goal yet, I don't just quit!  I press on for the prize.  
4. I have learned not everyone has experienced being a champion.  These are the folks that need support more than anyone.  They are the down-trodden, the oppressed, the needy.  In fact, as a Christian, these are the people I am to look out for the most.  
5. I have learned people will often love or hate you based on their own need at the moment.  This has helped me see things from another person's point of view, rather than just my own.  
6. I have learned people deserve another chance.  Even when they are old.  Maybe especially because they are old!
7. Most importantly, I have learned the value of standing up for something you believe in and not caving in to peer pressure.                                                                                                                           

So I will remain a Vikings fan, here in the land of green, gold, and cheese, despite my husband's best efforts to sway me.

Oh, and one more thing.  In case you didn't know, purple is the color of royalty.  Kings never have to "win" anything to deserve honor.  :)

Everybody wants to be a rock star

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."  Colossians 3:23-24


Ask five kids what they want to be when they grow up.  I will bet four out of five will want to be some sort of celebrity, whether that is a musician, actor, or sports star.  And why wouldn't they?  Isn't that what everyone in our culture strives for?  Fame is the ultimate intoxicant in this party called "Life in the 21st Century."

Christians are certainly not exempt from this.  Think about it: God calls you to do something, and you immediately picture it as this wildly popular, successful triumph.  For example, if you are called to be a writer, you think you have to write a best seller.  If you are called to be a musician, you imagine performing before crowds of thousands.  And what pastor hasn't dreamt of leading a megachurch?  It all seems so world-changing, powerful, and divine.  After all, that's what God wants, right?

The truth is, God has a plan for your life, just as He has a plan for all those famous people.  The thing is, it might not be the same plan.  While Rick Warren was called to impact thousands of people, your role may be to impact one person (who may, in turn, impact thousands).

Mother Teresa is often credited with this statement:  "God doesn't call us to be successful, he calls us to be faithful."  That means, if you were called to be a mother, change that dirty diaper with gusto.  If you were called to be a waiter, look for every opportunity to be Jesus to a customer.  If you were called to be a teacher, share your knowledge with creativity and excitement.  Do your job to the best of your ability in the spirit of serving Christ.

That doesn't mean you can't dream about having a ministry that changes the world.  Jesus said, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much" (Luke 16:10).  He did not say if you are trustworthy with very little, you can expect to be given much.  He calls us to be faithful in the small things, even if that is all they ever amount to, in our eyes.  We must trust that these small things are part of the greater good in furthering the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth.

Do we need to ask God's permission?

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  Proverbs 16:9


"Everything is permissible - but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive."  1 Corinthians 10:23  


I haven't seen my favorite cousins in over three years.  I say "cousins", but they are more like sisters to me. We've never lived geographically close to one another, but even when we were young and got together at the occasional holiday, we could always pick up where we left off.  There has always been a special bond.  Plus, they are both incredibly funny.  We are like teenage girls when we get together...lots of giggling!

I've missed spending time with them (sorry Facebook, you just don't cut the mustard!).  Every time we've attempted to get together, something has come up.  It's been really frustrating.  Then, a few weeks ago, I found out my favorite band was going to be playing in their city.  I haven't seen Switchfoot in a long time either, and it seemed like divine intervention.  So, without consulting anyone - and I do mean, anyone - I bought the tickets and put it on the calendar.  In fact, I do believe my attitude at the time was, "I'm going!  I'm just going, darn it, and I don't care if anyone likes it!"  Yep, real spiritual.

The concert is now a week away.  Guess who woke up under the weather today?  Both my daughter and me.

My first reaction was irritation and anger.  I complained to God about this possible interruption in my plans.  I believe the conversation went something like this:

Me:  God, I can't be sick!  I miss my cousins too much and I just have to go!
God:  It would have been nice if you'd asked Me.
Me:  Oh.  Yeah.  I never did that, did I?  Oops.  Sorry about that.
God:  You know, you don't need my permission to do these things.  You are free to do whatever you please.  But when you ask, it allows me the opportunity to bless it.  And to bless you.
Me:  (smacks self in forehead) You're so right!  Lord, I'm so sorry for not asking you.  Please forgive me!

I started to think about my adult daughter who lives at home.  She's almost always considerate about letting me know her plans.   She does not need my permission, but she does it out of respect, and in a way, looking for my blessing.  If I say I do not approve of her plans, she still has the option to follow through or not, but she knows things will go better if she listens to me.  She knows I have her best interest at heart.

It is like that with the Lord.  He always has my best interest at heart.  And if He doesn't want me to go visit my cousins next week, there's a reason why, and I can trust that it is for my good.

I ended the conversation with God like this:  "God, I still want to go, but if You don't want me to, I won't go."  Ouch.  That still stings.

Do we choose to be foggy?

"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness."  John 12:46

Fall weather has made its appearance in Wisconsin, and that means the sun takes a little longer to appear each morning.  This morning was particularly dark, as there was a shroud of fog covering our neighborhood.  

Have you ever watched fog dissipate?  For the first time in my decades of living (notice how I managed to avoid disclosing my age?), I witnessed it this morning.  I happened to be outside and noticed the clouds quickly rising.  It was almost as if they were being sucked up into heaven.  I was struck by how fast they were moving.  I caught a glimpse of a yellow ball behind one large cloud in the east, and from there, the clouds were shuffling towards the sky.

Within minutes, the clouds were completely gone, and the sun, in all it's brilliance, was beaming down warmth and light.

How very often does my heart get clouded and foggy!  At times, I unnecessarily allow that fog to hang heavy over my life.

Jesus described himself as the light of the world, just as the sun illuminates the earth now.  When I allow Him to shine into my life, my problems and confusion dissipate so quickly.  Things become clearer, and there is light for my path.  I can bask in the warmth of His love and find the direction I need to go.

Such a simple thing.  I don't know why it is so hard to do at times.  Why would I choose to live fogged-in?  Is it a choice?  Or are we kept there by someone or something?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.