At least I'm not crazy

It started with a devotional in the morning:

"I am life and light in abundance.  As you spend time "soaking" in My Presence, you are energized and lightened.  Through communing with Me, you transfer your heavy burdens to My strong shoulders.  By gazing at Me, you gain My perspective on your life.  This time alone with Me is essential for unscrambling your thoughts and smoothing out the day before you.  Be willing to fight for this precious time with Me. " (from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young)

A little later, during a beautiful morning walk with the dog, I began meditating on a time in my life when God saved me from a dangerous, tempting situation, one I had placed myself in.  I began to recall other times in my life when God had rescued me and protected me from consequences I should have suffered.  I was in awe of His mercy.

Then I began to wonder at the things He has given me that I do not deserve.  Family, friends, health, generous provision of every sort.  I earned none of it, and in light of my previous thoughts, I deserved the opposite.  I was in the grasp of His love, and there is no better place to be.

I went about my day and my to-do list, and as the day wore on, frustrations began to mount.  People and computers and animals...none of them were conforming to the plans I had for my day.  I found myself snapping unfairly at loved ones, when words from the devotional floated back into my brain: "transfer your heavy burdens", "unscrambling your thoughts and smoothing out the day", "be willing to fight for this".

Looking at my never-ending list of chores, it seemed crazy to take more time away from work.  Nothing would ever get done!  But I decided to fight.  I found the only sure room in the house to be quiet (bathroom) and hid myself away.  I began to pray and pour out all my irritations and worries, and I was amazed at how many there were!  No wonder my mind was so muddled and unable to accomplish anything!  When I had finished, I didn't have any answers.  I felt better though.  Yet, I was still not ready to go "back out there."

I reached over and picked up one of my favorite books, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, which I'm reading for the third time.  I picked up where I had left off, and this is what it said:  "If one person "wastes" away his day by spending hours connecting with God, and the other person believes he is too busy or has better things to do than worship the Creator and Sustainer, who is the crazy one?"

If anyone in my family happened to be walking past the bathroom at that point, they heard me laugh out loud.  As if I hadn't realized the fullness of His love that morning, I was now being treated to a combination of blessing and humor from the God of the universe.  We will always be blessed by coming into His presence.

God, thank you!  At least I know I'm not crazy!