Four years ago today, heaven received a new citizen. He was always meant to be there, but it took over 80 years for him to arrive. His given name was Gerald, but to almost everyone, he was known as Jerry (or Jer, or even Big Jer (BJ), as his family lovingly referred to him).
Jerry was a passionate follower of Jesus for most of his years. In his earlier years, he was earnest but legalistic. He didn't know any better; he didn't have anyone to show him the way. He aimed to become a mentor for others, and he was successful in doing so. In all his years on this earth, I can't even guess how many souls he led to know Christ. I just know it was a lot.
I had a roller coaster relationship with my dad. As a young child, I was terrified of him. As I grew older, he tried to mold me into an athlete, something God clearly never gifted me to do. I was a musician and artist, and Dad eventually accepted that. He never missed a concert or performance. He became one of my biggest cheerleaders.
When I wanted to quit college and go work for him in the radio station he bought, he never tried to talk me out of it. He just supported me and loved me. When I wanted to quit that and marry a co-worker who would give me stability, he didn't argue. He just walked me down the aisle. When our second child died at birth, he gave the most beautiful sermon at the funeral that I've ever heard in my entire life.
A few months later, my father, the person I held in the highest esteem, broke my heart by leaving my mother (after 41 years of marriage) for another woman. I know now that he was under heavy attack from the enemy, and like all of us at times, he crumbled. In later years, he had severe regrets about the collateral damage to his family.
It took a long time for me to work through my anger and bitterness, but eventually I chose to forgive him and pursued a relationship with him. It was never the same, to be sure, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to try to reconstruct. Often our conversations were stilted or awkward, but in each one of them, he did his best to encourage me. If there's one thing I know for certain, I know my father loved me. He made sure I knew.
In July of 2006, he was diagnosed with cancer. Six month later, he left this earth to be with his Lord.
I miss him terribly, but as my husband often reminds me, he wouldn't want to be back here for anything. I wouldn't even wish that on him. I know he is where he was always meant to be. He is where I am meant to be one day. On days like this, I long to be there. In the meantime, I want to carry on his legacy and be that cheerleader for others.
And so, in the words of my father...keep your chin up. Keep smiling, it's OK. I love you.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Beet recipes
I haven't posted recipes in awhile...probably because I didn't have anything of note to post. My poor family members are the guinea pigs of many a recipe at our house. Some good, some not-so-good. They are always honest. :)
For the past couple of years, we've participated in a CSA (community supported agriculture) program through a local organic farm, Harmony Valley Farms (Harmony Valley Farm). We get the most wonderful assortment of vegetables throughout the year, and it's caused us to try (and many times even enjoy) new, healthy tastes.
In January, we get two boxes of winter veggies. Lots and LOTS of winter veggies! Each year, it's a challenge to figure out what to do with these wonderful, nutritious foods before they go bad. This year, I've found myself looking for ideas of what to do with carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, celeriac, and beets. I decided to take one day to concentrate on each of these wonderful vegetables, and today's veggie of choice was beets.
I LOVE beets. I can eat them cooked, plain, and truly enjoy them. No one else in my house is a fan. Since I had such a plethora of them, I decided to use a few to try some new recipes, in the hopes the rest of the family would get onboard.
I'm a huge hummus fan. A friend of ours makes delicious homemade hummus and regularly blesses me with it. I found a recipe for beet hummus and decided to give it a try. It is actually quite tasty! Now, I'll admit, given a choice, I'd take the traditional garbanzo bean version. But the beet version is extremely beautiful (due to the bright, purple color) as well as tasty. Here's the link to the recipe I followed: Beet Hummus
Pickled beets - my grandmother used to make these (as well as pickled eggs, which may well be my next experiment, since I am now craving them!). I do not know anything about canning, so I chose a recipe that is simply refrigerated. It is delicious and tastes almost identical to what I remember from childhood. The recipe is here: Pickled Beets
I also made a beef stew with turnips in the slow cooker tonight, which the whole family enjoyed. Even my very picky daughter! Let me know if you want that recipe.
Happy cooking (with beets)!
For the past couple of years, we've participated in a CSA (community supported agriculture) program through a local organic farm, Harmony Valley Farms (Harmony Valley Farm). We get the most wonderful assortment of vegetables throughout the year, and it's caused us to try (and many times even enjoy) new, healthy tastes.
In January, we get two boxes of winter veggies. Lots and LOTS of winter veggies! Each year, it's a challenge to figure out what to do with these wonderful, nutritious foods before they go bad. This year, I've found myself looking for ideas of what to do with carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, celeriac, and beets. I decided to take one day to concentrate on each of these wonderful vegetables, and today's veggie of choice was beets.
I LOVE beets. I can eat them cooked, plain, and truly enjoy them. No one else in my house is a fan. Since I had such a plethora of them, I decided to use a few to try some new recipes, in the hopes the rest of the family would get onboard.
I'm a huge hummus fan. A friend of ours makes delicious homemade hummus and regularly blesses me with it. I found a recipe for beet hummus and decided to give it a try. It is actually quite tasty! Now, I'll admit, given a choice, I'd take the traditional garbanzo bean version. But the beet version is extremely beautiful (due to the bright, purple color) as well as tasty. Here's the link to the recipe I followed: Beet Hummus
Pickled beets - my grandmother used to make these (as well as pickled eggs, which may well be my next experiment, since I am now craving them!). I do not know anything about canning, so I chose a recipe that is simply refrigerated. It is delicious and tastes almost identical to what I remember from childhood. The recipe is here: Pickled Beets
I also made a beef stew with turnips in the slow cooker tonight, which the whole family enjoyed. Even my very picky daughter! Let me know if you want that recipe.
Happy cooking (with beets)!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Morning people
"If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse." - Proverbs 27:14
To say that I'm not a morning person is probably an understatement. When I roll out of bed, after giving my alarm clock a glare that could burn holes through the floor, I can barely function, let alone comprehend anything.
Because God likes a good sitcom as well as anyone, He made my darling husband a morning person. Not only does he simply wake up at (what I consider) ungodly hours, he does so with energy and joy. Because he gets up so much earlier than I do, by the time I stumble down the stairs he has already been up for awhile. And since he's also an extrovert, the person he first sees in the morning is his opportunity to connect and energize. I'm pretty sure he's just been sitting there thinking of what he will say, because as soon as I appear, I am hit with a verbal bombardment. He knows I hate this, but I swear, it's as if he cannot help himself. I think he will burst if he can't talk to someone right at that moment!
I know, it sounds funny, right? He finds it humorous also, because HE is in a good mood! It's actually not funny to me, though. It causes me to have some rather unkind thoughts, and it is only by God's grace that it doesn't go beyond that. And some days, I'm not all that open to God's grace, so you see where I'm going.
We can laugh and joke about it, but the truth is, it's a sin struggle. So I need to deal with it. It would be easy to put all the burden and blame on my husband, but the truth is, it's MY sin struggle. It may be a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but the big things all start out as small things. So I'm praying for victory over this and asking God to change me.
I realize God is not going to change the way I'm wired; He made me that way for a reason. And He made my husband the way he is for a reason too. But He can renew my mind to change the way I respond (Romans 12:2). He can give me wisdom and strength to do what He is calling me to do (Colossians 1:9-11).
1 John 5:14-15 says, " This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." I know it is God's will for us to love one another, and this issue is getting in the way of that, so I am confident God will answer this prayer.
And like He so often does, God will answer in a way that would have never crossed my puny little brain. Now that's something worth getting up in the morning for!
To say that I'm not a morning person is probably an understatement. When I roll out of bed, after giving my alarm clock a glare that could burn holes through the floor, I can barely function, let alone comprehend anything.
Because God likes a good sitcom as well as anyone, He made my darling husband a morning person. Not only does he simply wake up at (what I consider) ungodly hours, he does so with energy and joy. Because he gets up so much earlier than I do, by the time I stumble down the stairs he has already been up for awhile. And since he's also an extrovert, the person he first sees in the morning is his opportunity to connect and energize. I'm pretty sure he's just been sitting there thinking of what he will say, because as soon as I appear, I am hit with a verbal bombardment. He knows I hate this, but I swear, it's as if he cannot help himself. I think he will burst if he can't talk to someone right at that moment!
I know, it sounds funny, right? He finds it humorous also, because HE is in a good mood! It's actually not funny to me, though. It causes me to have some rather unkind thoughts, and it is only by God's grace that it doesn't go beyond that. And some days, I'm not all that open to God's grace, so you see where I'm going.
We can laugh and joke about it, but the truth is, it's a sin struggle. So I need to deal with it. It would be easy to put all the burden and blame on my husband, but the truth is, it's MY sin struggle. It may be a small thing in the grand scheme of life, but the big things all start out as small things. So I'm praying for victory over this and asking God to change me.
I realize God is not going to change the way I'm wired; He made me that way for a reason. And He made my husband the way he is for a reason too. But He can renew my mind to change the way I respond (Romans 12:2). He can give me wisdom and strength to do what He is calling me to do (Colossians 1:9-11).
1 John 5:14-15 says, " This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." I know it is God's will for us to love one another, and this issue is getting in the way of that, so I am confident God will answer this prayer.
And like He so often does, God will answer in a way that would have never crossed my puny little brain. Now that's something worth getting up in the morning for!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Trusting God more than Chuck Norris
"Who is this coming from Edom,
from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson?
Who is this, robed in splendor,
striding forward in the greatness of his strength?
'It is I, proclaiming victory,
mighty to save.'"
Isaiah 63:1
I have trust issues with God. He knows this about me (and loves me anyway).
I was watching an episode of "Frasier" the other day, in which Frasier and Niles see a couples therapist to resolve their differences. The therapist declared their problem to be a lack of trust, so he tried to get them to participate in something known as "the trust fall." You may have seen this before - where one person stands behind the other, and the person in front relaxes their body and falls back into the arms of the other. The point is to trust the person behind you to catch you.
I got to thinking...if I were to do a trust fall with God, would I believe He would catch me? I mean, logically, we're talking about the only Being who is truly and completely trustworthy. So why would I even hesitate? Why DO I hesitate?
Just this past week, God asked me to do something. It seemed simple enough on the surface, but as the week progressed, some unexpected aspects came up which made the task seem insurmountable. I basically lost a whole night's sleep worrying about it. In the end, God removed all the difficulty, and the task was completed with ease. All that worry for nothing, just because I couldn't trust. And this is only the 397th time He's come through. This week. :)
A few months ago, I added a new instrument to my spiritual toolbox when someone suggested I start praying for revelation. I had never done this before, and frankly, it has sparked a spiritual awakening for me. (I have yet to be denied an answer to this prayer. Try it!) So, I asked God to reveal something to me about my trust issues.
I've discovered I have a very limited view of God. To a certain degree, that is just the way it will be while we are on this earth. And even in Paradise, I believe it will take all eternity to truly know God. For now, I am finding I not only restrict God's capabilities in my mind, but I tend to place human limitations on Him as well. I forget that, unlike people, He is always good. I forget that, unlike me, He has "the big picture." I forget that He is supernatural and all-powerful, unlike any human on the planet (yes, even Chuck Norris). God is NOT ME. He will not screw up, and He will never betray me.
Jesus, though fully God, is also fully human. That is why He is able to sympathize with us and intercede on our behalf. But He is not subject to our limitations. He is, as Isaiah said, mighty to save.
Lamentations 3:24-26 says, "I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." This will be my prayer for the new year - to learn to wait quietly. To draw my strength from the knowledge of who God is. To stop tossing and turning and striving.
Will I always get it right? Not likely. But I'm ready to give that trust fall a chance. Here I come, Lord...catch me!
from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson?
Who is this, robed in splendor,
striding forward in the greatness of his strength?
'It is I, proclaiming victory,
mighty to save.'"
Isaiah 63:1
I have trust issues with God. He knows this about me (and loves me anyway).
I was watching an episode of "Frasier" the other day, in which Frasier and Niles see a couples therapist to resolve their differences. The therapist declared their problem to be a lack of trust, so he tried to get them to participate in something known as "the trust fall." You may have seen this before - where one person stands behind the other, and the person in front relaxes their body and falls back into the arms of the other. The point is to trust the person behind you to catch you.
I got to thinking...if I were to do a trust fall with God, would I believe He would catch me? I mean, logically, we're talking about the only Being who is truly and completely trustworthy. So why would I even hesitate? Why DO I hesitate?
Just this past week, God asked me to do something. It seemed simple enough on the surface, but as the week progressed, some unexpected aspects came up which made the task seem insurmountable. I basically lost a whole night's sleep worrying about it. In the end, God removed all the difficulty, and the task was completed with ease. All that worry for nothing, just because I couldn't trust. And this is only the 397th time He's come through. This week. :)
A few months ago, I added a new instrument to my spiritual toolbox when someone suggested I start praying for revelation. I had never done this before, and frankly, it has sparked a spiritual awakening for me. (I have yet to be denied an answer to this prayer. Try it!) So, I asked God to reveal something to me about my trust issues.
I've discovered I have a very limited view of God. To a certain degree, that is just the way it will be while we are on this earth. And even in Paradise, I believe it will take all eternity to truly know God. For now, I am finding I not only restrict God's capabilities in my mind, but I tend to place human limitations on Him as well. I forget that, unlike people, He is always good. I forget that, unlike me, He has "the big picture." I forget that He is supernatural and all-powerful, unlike any human on the planet (yes, even Chuck Norris). God is NOT ME. He will not screw up, and He will never betray me.
Jesus, though fully God, is also fully human. That is why He is able to sympathize with us and intercede on our behalf. But He is not subject to our limitations. He is, as Isaiah said, mighty to save.
Lamentations 3:24-26 says, "I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." This will be my prayer for the new year - to learn to wait quietly. To draw my strength from the knowledge of who God is. To stop tossing and turning and striving.
Will I always get it right? Not likely. But I'm ready to give that trust fall a chance. Here I come, Lord...catch me!
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Starless
Every night, before I go to bed, I let my dog outside. I always walk out with her at night, unsure of what dangers may be lurking out there. It's also my opportunity to connect with my Creator before bedtime as I search for glimmers of the heavens.
(Those who know me well are probably expecting me to burst into song right here...a Switchfoot song, that is. "When I look at the stars, I see someone else...")
Actually, I do look at the stars. Every single night, I look up. Something about seeing those natural sources of light give hope and direction. Tonight, at least initially, I saw nothing. As my eyes adjusted and I looked straight up, above shone one bright star. "Ahhhhh," I thought, "at least there is one star out tonight." As I focused on that single star, others began to appear in my peripheral vision. The harder I looked, the more I saw. Some were quite faint, but others were remarkably discernible.
Isn't that just like life? So often, in times in darkness, we cannot see even the tiniest shred of hope. We search and search, but see nothing. But if we are persistent and patient, eventually God shows us a light, sometimes even a bright light. As we begin to focus on the gift of that light, we begin to see things more clearly, and further hope comes into view. More light. More direction. More hope.
I know some of you who read this blog are going through some dark times right now. My prayer for you is to look for that one star that is shining just for you. Get out there and look. It's there. I promise.
(Those who know me well are probably expecting me to burst into song right here...a Switchfoot song, that is. "When I look at the stars, I see someone else...")
Actually, I do look at the stars. Every single night, I look up. Something about seeing those natural sources of light give hope and direction. Tonight, at least initially, I saw nothing. As my eyes adjusted and I looked straight up, above shone one bright star. "Ahhhhh," I thought, "at least there is one star out tonight." As I focused on that single star, others began to appear in my peripheral vision. The harder I looked, the more I saw. Some were quite faint, but others were remarkably discernible.
Isn't that just like life? So often, in times in darkness, we cannot see even the tiniest shred of hope. We search and search, but see nothing. But if we are persistent and patient, eventually God shows us a light, sometimes even a bright light. As we begin to focus on the gift of that light, we begin to see things more clearly, and further hope comes into view. More light. More direction. More hope.
I know some of you who read this blog are going through some dark times right now. My prayer for you is to look for that one star that is shining just for you. Get out there and look. It's there. I promise.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Church ladies
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NRSV)
I grew up in a Christian home and attended a small, conservative church. My perception of "church ladies" was that they each had a signature dish to bring to each potluck, during which they sat around and gossiped. If they were chatting mindlessly at church, they were getting together for coffee to do more of the same. I heard lots of complaining about husbands when my mother hosted the weekly "coffee klatch" at our house.
When I became a married woman, at the ripe old age of 20, I got a somewhat different picture of church ladies. I began to understand the enormous pressures of being a wife and mother, and for awhile, I bought into the idea that we were merely supporting and encouraging one another. Still, in the back of my mind, I was nagged by the thought that this was not at all the way it was supposed to work. In addition to the constant gossip, often glossed over by being shared as prayer requests, I was turned off by women I viewed as weak, moody, and pathetic. Growing up in the age of feminism, I felt empowered and strong. Why did these women think they even NEEDED a man?
It became more and more difficult for me to connect with women in general, but even more so, the church ladies. I suspected if my world ever came crumbling down, they would not be there for me. My fears were confirmed when my marriage ended. I became the one who was gossiped about and judged.
To this day, I still struggle with a general dislike of women. There. I said it. I abhor women's events at church, and after this post publishes, I probably won't be invited to them anymore! It's not for lack of trying...I have tried attending in an effort to get past my issues of distrust. I'm actually really blessed to be in a church where the women are not like the ones who burned me in the past. Still, I would rather walk on broken glass in bare feet than attend the next women's brunch. It's just excruciatingly painful for me.
All of this to say, I discovered this morning that God has placed me smack in the middle of women's ministry, something I would have never imagined in a million years. Mercifully, it looks different from the view to my past. It does not involve potlucks or craft fairs. It's as simple and beautiful as picking up my phone or my reading my email.
This dawned on me this morning as I read two Facebook messages which arrived right in a row. Both were from younger women seeking advice and encouragement from a more seasoned believer (notice, I did not say old!). My heart was so moved that they trust me enough to share their deepest confidences with me, and I realized that God had ordained our friendship for a dual purpose. Not only for them to have a trusted mentor, but for me to heal from the hurts of my past.
As I pondered this further, I began to realize there are at least a dozen other women in my life who God has given me to encourage. I was further enlightened by how much each one of these women ministers to me. Now this is women's ministry I can get excited about!
So I'm thankful for the "church ladies" in my life right now. Who knows, maybe one day you'll see me at the women's brunch again.
I grew up in a Christian home and attended a small, conservative church. My perception of "church ladies" was that they each had a signature dish to bring to each potluck, during which they sat around and gossiped. If they were chatting mindlessly at church, they were getting together for coffee to do more of the same. I heard lots of complaining about husbands when my mother hosted the weekly "coffee klatch" at our house.
When I became a married woman, at the ripe old age of 20, I got a somewhat different picture of church ladies. I began to understand the enormous pressures of being a wife and mother, and for awhile, I bought into the idea that we were merely supporting and encouraging one another. Still, in the back of my mind, I was nagged by the thought that this was not at all the way it was supposed to work. In addition to the constant gossip, often glossed over by being shared as prayer requests, I was turned off by women I viewed as weak, moody, and pathetic. Growing up in the age of feminism, I felt empowered and strong. Why did these women think they even NEEDED a man?
It became more and more difficult for me to connect with women in general, but even more so, the church ladies. I suspected if my world ever came crumbling down, they would not be there for me. My fears were confirmed when my marriage ended. I became the one who was gossiped about and judged.
To this day, I still struggle with a general dislike of women. There. I said it. I abhor women's events at church, and after this post publishes, I probably won't be invited to them anymore! It's not for lack of trying...I have tried attending in an effort to get past my issues of distrust. I'm actually really blessed to be in a church where the women are not like the ones who burned me in the past. Still, I would rather walk on broken glass in bare feet than attend the next women's brunch. It's just excruciatingly painful for me.
All of this to say, I discovered this morning that God has placed me smack in the middle of women's ministry, something I would have never imagined in a million years. Mercifully, it looks different from the view to my past. It does not involve potlucks or craft fairs. It's as simple and beautiful as picking up my phone or my reading my email.
This dawned on me this morning as I read two Facebook messages which arrived right in a row. Both were from younger women seeking advice and encouragement from a more seasoned believer (notice, I did not say old!). My heart was so moved that they trust me enough to share their deepest confidences with me, and I realized that God had ordained our friendship for a dual purpose. Not only for them to have a trusted mentor, but for me to heal from the hurts of my past.
As I pondered this further, I began to realize there are at least a dozen other women in my life who God has given me to encourage. I was further enlightened by how much each one of these women ministers to me. Now this is women's ministry I can get excited about!
So I'm thankful for the "church ladies" in my life right now. Who knows, maybe one day you'll see me at the women's brunch again.
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